If it's not Raven, it's crap...

Well, technically, the blog is staying put. However, at 6:29am (Central Standard Time), the author of this blog (yours truly) will commence with her relocation...and hopefully -- some 20 odd hours later -- I will land safe and sound across the big pond in Hamburg, Germany. To commemorate this event...and to provide some entertainment for y'all whilst I'm in the air, I kinda totally jacked Cupcake's idea for her 50,000th blog hit . I created a broadcast dedicated some very special people who've supported me during during my "exile phase". I'm not gonna bother with streaming it... I didn't really bother to check the volume levels...and I've compressed the holy, ever-lovin' shit out of the file so that it's not too terribly big (it's about 32MB, 60:51) If that hasn't frightened you, then maybe this will . Zip it up and zip it out, people...

Sucker... I'm kinda flipping out. To counteract the jitters, I've been drinking. Packing up and leaving never really gets easier...I've been told by this time it should be pretty much old hat...whatever that means. I haven't actually started the actual "packing" process as yet. All my shit is just still sitting next to my suitcases...I'll never learn. Anyway, I tried converting the following video to something other than a real media file, but it still ended up looking like shit, so I'll just link to the file right here . It also kind of explains how I got the name for my blog. Gotta love those old SNL references, right? I dedicate this post to my sister Robbyn. Over the last nine months we've made a pretty good team. It's been crazy at times, to say the least. However, if everything goes to plan, she'll be the first person to visit me and she will be most welcome. A few weeks ago she asked me for my recipe for sangria (hence, the picture a

I just quit my job about an hour ago. No hoopla, no goodbye hugs or tears. Just turned in my headset and badge and walked out. I was actually supposed to quit tomorrow...but I've just got too much shit to get done...which is ultimately much more important to me than whiny, stranded motorists. Hip-hip-hooray for me!!!!

"I'm here to laugh, love, fuck and drink liquor and help the damn revolution come quicker..." A bit premature? Perhaps. But eff it...here's my favorite album of the year. check it ("My Favorite Mutiny" featuring Black Thought & Talib Kweli)

"Thugs love my style. I keep it street with the braids and the diamond smile" I had my last trip to the dentist today. I arrived shortly before 1pm and about an hour later I left with a sparkly new gold crown. It really should have only taken 15 minutes to put on, but apparently I have like some kind of crazy mutant mouth that changes shape so there was some shaving down required. Erm, and it probably didn't help that the fitting was done approximately 30 minutes after having a tooth pulled. But, people, I'm on a time schedule here! Had to get this done while I still have that sweet, sweet dental insurance, which, as of Friday, will be no more. Anyway, my dentist was amazing. An asshole*, but amazing nonetheless. Was it expensive? Yeah, kinda. Painful? At times, very. Worth it? Most definitely. I can literally taste döner already...and not just on the left side of my mouth. *= here, of course, I mean an asshole in the way that some people, who are really, really good

Warning: Clip is not particularly safe for work. I remember Bianca telling me that her sister Camilla was in some weird-ass video for The Flaming Lips. Then today I saw that B had posted a clip on her myspace blog about a month ago. Yeah, it's a pretty strange video, but then again, it's The Flaming Lips. I'm sure it all makes sense if you're drunk and/or high. Viva la Revolution!

* Tip of the week: Don't order things online when you're drunk. No, I didn't order any kind of scandalous shit - though, admittedly, it probably would have been extremely funny, if I had. I bought my dad a great gift (the Ray Charles album, Dedicated to You that I'd been searching for in just about every record shop that I ever step into...here and abroad). Recently, I found out that it had been re-released as a CD, which would have been perfecto for my purposes. Instead, in a momentary lapse in judgement due to alcohol consumption caused me to purchase the album on vinyl as opposed to CD. In the end, my dad will be more impressed. However, I'm the one who has to digitize that shit. * Is this a sign? "A German woman left her friend as a deposit at a gas station because she did not have enough cash to pay for her petrol, police said Wednesday...'Unfortunately, the woman did not return.'". Let it be known, my dear German friends with vehicles...

Adventures in Packing Pt. 2: Parting with my stuff My family and friends make out like bandits whenever I leave town, due to the fact that many of my "prized possessions" simply will not fit in my two suitcases and shipping them is much too expensive. I take what I can and divvy up the rest amongst those closest (distance-wise) to me. This time, my dad seems to be the Chosen One. I broke down my stereo a couple of weeks ago and gave it to him so that he could play his music in the living room. Robbyn wasn't too happy about that, since her room is close to the living room and my father has a habit of blasting The Eagles "Life in the Fast Lane" very loudly, very late at night. However, this doesn't bother me much at all since my room is at the back of the house and I mostly listen to my music through headphones. I'm also planning on giving my dad my trusty ol' frankenstein desktop. I've had the thing for about seven years and have taken it apart an

Ain't we lucky we got 'em? Good times... Until this morning, I hadn't had a haircut in almost 2 years. Not like you could really tell or anything (well, except for the spilt ends). With hair as curly as mine it would take forever to make it look "long"...it never seemed to extend past my shoulders. In reality, my hair extended half way down my back. Crazy, right? Sha..I know... Anyway, I got Gillian to cut it and it looks great and it saved me money. Thanks, Gill. Everyone send warm wishes for her tonsilectomy tomorrow, or else... The rest of my day was spent bent over a paper shredder. I'm currently sorting out my life in preparation for The Big Move and, once again, I find myself with an ass-load of paper that needs to be discarded...or kept...or whatever. I should have learned by now to organize things more efficiently, but then I wouldn't have so much fun reminiscing when I go through it all again. Most importantly, I finally got around to opening all

Mmmmm...sacrilege "The Miller Head Wrap is a revolutionary article of clothing that can be configured in a number of ways to fit your personal lifestyle" Robbyn dropped by my room for a visit a little while ago and she found a little present that Katie had given me for my birthday. I hadn't actually opened it as yet, since I assumed it was one of those standard bandanas with a company logo. Not quite something that I'd wear to work, more like something I'd save for a casual day off. But when Robbyn asked to open it up, I felt I had to oblige. And I did. And it was so worth it. This thing is so multifunctional. According to the instructions on the little piece of cardboard (that I had somehow failed to turn over and read), it can be a neckerchief, a hairband, a headband, a wristband, a skullcap, a pullback, a scarf and a balaclava . I don't think I look very ninja-like in the pic, but I'll totally kick your ass, for real, yo.

I can hardly move, let alone compose an entry, for I am quite full. Why is it that whenever someone takes me out for dinner, I'm all like, "Dude...steak!" It's almost always delicious. Mostly because I'm not paying for it or preparing it myself. I'm thinking of changing my life's motto to something like, "It doesn't get much better than free steak" - where "it" refers to "just about everything" Technically, I wouldn't be changing my motto, since I don't really have one to begin with...and also I don't think what I wrote above even falls under the definition of a motto. When it comes right down to it...it actually hurts a little bit when I inhale, it feels as though if I were to take in too much air, it would force steak and garlic mashed potatoes out of my eye sockets. Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed. I was going to put up a video of Dave Chappelle on Late Night with Conan O'Brien...but it looks as though N

"Schon geshockt? Ohren zu, weil's noch schlimmer weiter geht" [siehe Post unten] It's amazing what you can do with a video camera, three outfits and a rental car. Ahhh the good ol' days...I'd forgotten how much I like this song. Although, it's hard not to like a song called "Exclamation Point, Question Mark, Exclamation Point". Man, those crazy Germans really love their punctuation ;) Thanks YouTube for brightening up my (obscenely) early morning.

Leverkusen?! Riiiiiight... > When low-budget styles go very, very, veeeeeeeerrry wrong. I'm trying to think of what their first mistake was...and I'm tempted to answer "being born". Alter, glaub mir, rappen kann *nicht* jeder... Wow...these guys...are really...lame (and that's putting it nicely, I think)

...and it was pretty fuckin delish. I know it always sounds messed up when I say this, seeing as how it's Sunday and most of you are gearing up for another week of work. But for me it's Thursday and I must say that this has been one really long week that went by surprisingly fast. It's amazing how prescription painkillers make time fly...and drag. It's an odd feeling, as you can see. Unfortunately, I'm all out of my little white happy pills, so it's back to our regularly scheduled program. After five days of subsisting on soup and applesauce, I finally felt brave enough to put solid food in my mouth. So, I went down to Taco Cabana and got me a steak quesadilla. It's mostly solid, right? Anyway, nothing accompanies mexican food like some freakin' cerveza. The eating part was certainly awkward...but mama washed it down with some of her "medicine". Presently, I'm just sitting here looking at a little white envelope containing my wisdom tooth,

Today is - sadly - the last day of my Super-Badass, Ultra-Awesome Vacation . I must say, it was everything I ever imagined...and then some. Believe me, I'm not being at all facetious here, because if there's one thing I know how to appreciate...it's 10 days...in a row...where I don't have to be present at work. You know another thing I appreciate? You guessed it...unexpected free stuff ( By the way, Katie, your package arrived yesterday. You're so rad. ) However, I'm afraid after my experience this morning, I'm going to have to be a little more specific. I'm going to have to say that I'm not really down with unexpected free things that are also very painful to my face (I'll think of a clever way to phrase that later...) I was scheduled to go in to do the molding for my crown, but instead my dentist told me, "Well, we actually should have taken out your wisdom tooth first and we should probably do that right now before we go any further"

Because greatness cannot be contained (and 'cause payback is a bitch... ) Hey Toby ? Remember that time I spilled a can of beer on you at my birthday party? Yeah, four years later...I'm still trying to make up for it. Without Toby: 1.) My shifts at the RLH Bar would have ended way too early and it would have taken me a whole 'nother month to discover Jever. 2.) The "Mein Block" Mix CD would not exist...it has yet to be topped. 3.) The (inevitably) cold smokers' balcony at a party would have been boring. 4.) Making fun of Padeborner Pils would not be as much fun. Padeborn, Whut!Whuuut!!!! Yeaaaaah boyeeeeee! Allllles Gute zum Geburtstag!

Me and André in 65 years, hopefully we'll be realistically colorized by then Raven's Super-Badass, Ultra-Awesome Vacation Days 5-8 Being 25 is working out quite ok, so far. Thanks to everyone who sent birthday greetings. Sadly, I think the deed to the island must have gotten lost in the mail or something, because it hasn't arrived as yet. I'm sure it'll show up sooner or later... I didn't throw a big shindig, because I really didn't feel like it. However, I did get really drunk with Robbyn and watched Kung Fu Hustle for about the millionth time. Low key, but enjoyable. It was bit refreshing to discover that hangovers don't really feel any worse once you turn 25. They don't feel any better, either...but what can you do, you know? Special thanks goes out to Gillian who bought me a bag full of my favorite curl products and to my dad who's going to buy me some new luggage (since my trusty ol' suitcase has finally bitten the dust...R.I.P). Sideno