Because I'm pretty sure my karma can't get any worse...

Diesen Eintrag schreibe ich nach folgendem Motto:

"Wenn du dir wieder mal zu Hause deinen Schädel zerbrichst,
und die Läden sind dicht,
und du dich fragst, ob die ganze Welt denn gegen dich ist,
dann nehmen wir den Stift
und liefern Medizin, die es in Apotheken nicht gibt..."

- Blumentopf "Medizin"

Sometimes it freaks me out how often and for how long I get can caught up in my thoughts. Like just now, I realized that it's just like 8pm and about 2 hours have passed between now and the last thing I remember. This problem may have also been caused by all the coffee that I've consumed today (a lot). Anyway, I was jolted out of my deep thought by the doorbell. I thought my roommate would have answered because I had heard her come in, but after about a minute of waiting and a second ring, I got up to find out for myself who the hell was at the door.

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Turns out, the door to the apartment was wide open and this dude with a creepy smile was standing on our doorstep. And he says,

"Hey, I want to invite to to a celebration."

and I'm like, "Whuh?!"

Then he hands me a piece of paper and says, "Here's your personal invitation."

and I'm like, "Uhmm, ok..."

Then he says, "Hope to see you there! Have a nice evening."

So, I look down and it's a freaking "invitation" (read: flyer) for a "celebration" (read: more or less Easter service) of the Jehovah's Witness sort... so like, basically a Jesus-thing. Which is well and good I suppose, 'cause it's that time of year and all.

But looking at the flyer, I couldn't help but think two things:
1.) How the hell did this dude get in the building?
2.) This Jesus party looks boooo-ring...

I mean, even the Scientologists usually put something on their flyers that makes me think, "Sure they might be crazy, but hey...it's free and they've got snacks."

That last part, by the way, is probably gonna end up on my tombstone...

Not that I think Jehovah's Witnesses are crazy, or even Jesus stuff, but for real, I think if you're going to try to lure me into a church on Easter, you've got a pretty big hurdle to clear. I used to go to a church that uses special effects for their "Easter Experiences".

Yeah, no kidding, I used to go to church. Like allll the time. Deal, bitches.

Anyway, for all the "Witnesses" out there that might be reading this. Y'all can go ahead and keep doing the dew or whatevs, but here's maybe a couple of things that you might not want to put on your flyers if you're hoping for a bigger turn-out:

1.) biblischer Vortrag (biblical lecture)
2.) That stuff about Jesus
3.) Zeugen Jehovahs (Jehovahs Witnesses)

Seriously, take a cue from Scientology. They don't put any of that shit about being Scientologists on their handouts and they always put "FREE" real big somewhere. Y'all just have that Watchtower thing, and hell...everyone knows it's you guys by now.