If it's not Raven, it's crap...

Although MOP can refer to many things, I am indeed talking about the Mash Out Posse 1.) Coming Soon: M.O.P. in the Schanzenpark. Inspired by the Beer and Rap event (which was inspired by the Sabbath in the Park events), M.O.P in the Schanzenpark jacks a great idea and moves it to Germany. The idea? Kick it in a park, drink lots of beer and listen to M.O.P. -- the name says it all. We'll even thrown in some steaks. Why the Schanzenpark? a.) It's way more gully, and thus, more fitting than the Stadtpark. b.) The graphic makes more sense that way. Why not just call it "Getting Drunk in the Schanzenpark While Listening to Rap Music?" You just don't get it, do you, Bu ? The date is TBA, as my co-organizer, Schmidt , needs to be in town to attend. Also, it's been kinda raining and cold lately, which is perfectly fine for mashing out, but not so great for grilling. 2.) The Tall Can Marathon Pt. 2 Another, Beer and Rap genius idea that I've wanted to try. How...

So, this week I'm dealing with a nasty bout of tonsilitis...and a visit from my favorite roommate's father, Papa Schmidt . Yippee-ki-yi-yay, muthafuckas... It's actually been quite ok this time, as Papa Schmidt brought his buddy Rudi along for the trip. Also, I have a really good excuse for not talking, if I don't want to. I just put on my sad face, point at my throat and shake my head. Actually, the antibiotics -- a yummy banana-flavored liquid that I'm supposed to take until tomorrow (before starting with not-so-yummy and very large pills)-- have worked wonders for my poor throat, while wreaking havoc on my stomach. This is kind of a shame, because Papa Schmidt brought me a whole bunch of my favorite dishes that he makes and I simply haven't been in an eating-solid-foods-mood. I mean it's all frozen and stored in the freezer, but like if you're hungry this weekend and you want a bit of Papa Schmidt's Asian Chicken Deluxe then stop by, fo sho. A...

I watched the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters with Schmidt this weekend. It was a crazy, crazy movie. Schmidt said his brain exploded while watching it. I love Frylock. The video above is the movie's intro. In other news, I got sick. Last night, I asked Schmidt to make sure I was still alive before he left the house to go to the airport in the morning. I don't think he did, which is ok, since I set my alarm clock to go off every two hours. I don't know if or how this could have prevented me from dying, but it was kind of reassuring. Then this morning I went to the doctor, which I hate doing in Germany. But this guy was pretty cool and it didn't take long and I was outta there with a prescription for antibiotics all quick like. Except when I got to the pharmacy, they didn't have the liquid penicillin that I would have preferred (as swallowing tablets is just not happening for me at the moment). So, I gotta wait a couple of hours and they'l...

This is quite possibly my new favorite Human Giant sketch. It also made me realize how much I wish that my stupid roommate wasn't in stupid France until stupid Friday. I can only hope that he forgets to try and read my stupid blog at work or in his stupid hotel room...because I really want to watch him laugh at this. Cause he will. Human Giant: Lunar-tics

PART I (The Timewaster): I just spent something like the last 2 hours doing this Impossible Quiz . At first you're like, "Ok, this isn't sooo impossible." Then, you're like, "What the fuck?!" Then, with a defiant voice you declare, "I must finish for the honor and glory of my people!!!" Shortly thereafter you're like, "Man, my wrist hurts." Which leads to, "Fuck honor and glory, I'm hungry...and my wrist reaaaally hurts." I personally reached this last point around Question #77. And Buche just informed me that there's something like 110 Questions. Eff that, yo... PART II (The Reason): In other news, I went to a flea market this weekend, where, in addition to buying a brand spankin new French press for cheapsies, I learned that a speculum will only set you back about 12€. I did mention that this was at a flea market, right? There were like five different booths selling various medical equipment, including the ...

I've watched The Simpsons far too much. But hey, that movie's coming out soon, right? Awesome

I've kinda been on a ciabatta bread kick for the past few weeks. It's possibly due to The Madame and her penchant for making ciabatta bread + salad meals. That's the most likely candidate, I guess. Also, it doesn't help that you can buy a pack of 10 ciabatta rolls for 99 cents at Lidl. They make nice little sammiches that, in turn, make a tasty little lunch. It's not that I didn't like the bread before, it's just that it was always one of those things that I pretty much only ate if I went to an Italian restaurant. And since I'm not very fond of Italian food (and I feel like I should apologize to Cupcake and her people -- sorry, guys), I rarely go to Italian restaurants and, thus, rarely eat ciabatta bread. A few months ago, however, I was reading a post about the SXSW Festival by SergDun the guy over at Beer and Rap . In it, he talked about this song called "Ciabatta Bread" and, of course, there was a link to listen to the song. Since then,...

Not exactly what I want to read first thing in the morning, but I love and miss you too, sis... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Gillian Subject: my finger Date: Jun 13, 2007 3:17 PM Hi Raven. You'll never believe, or maybe you will, I had to have my finger stitched because I nearly cut the skin off my knuckle. I'm going to load a picture of it later. I've been told to leave the knives alone. Miss you and love you.

I was surprised and a little bit amused to find a clip of this spot for Oklahoma City's favorite primetime television show interrupter, Gary England. He's the News 9 (our local CBS affiliate) head meteorologist and local legend. The website where I found this clip described it as a, "A ridiculously over-the-top promo for a local news weatherman." Ridiculous? Yes. Over the top? Hell yes. But they make it sound like ol' Gary is just some kind of two-bit hack, when he is, in fact, the only weather man that I know of with his own drinking game . Not to mention Wikipedia entry . Lemme tell you something else, when Gary does finally kick the bucket -- and he is kinda getting up there in age -- there will be flags at half mast in Oklahoma and the kids might just even get the day off from school. Sorry, Mike Morgan , you got a long way to go to get that kind of recognition. And dude from Channel 5...I don't even know what the hell your name is. But man, that commerci...

I was recalling Papa Schmidt's last visit the other day and how he seemed to always get a bit frustrated with me whenever he asked me to explain something about American culture that he didn't really know a lot about. "The way you explain things is much too complicated. You get into too many unnecessary details, when all I wanted was a simple answer." If you regularly read my blog, you know this is oh so very true. I could never have a blog like Toby's Gib mir 3 1/2 Minuten ( Give me 3 1/2 Minutes ), wherein he attempts (and, more often than not, succeeds in) composing coherent entries within a self-imposed 3 1/2 minute time limit. I've always enjoyed his writing style, but sadly, I find myself unable to reproduce it. I think this is because I'm too interested in the premise and set up of an event, rather than the end result. My thought process is completely retarded, but for some reason when I'm re-telling or writing about a situation -- the best ...

Hello Boys and Girls, today's lesson is about dreams and why you should never ever try to make them come true. You ever heard of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? He had a dream. And look where it got him. Dreams are for crazy people. They often start in a weird place like a gummi bear factory and at some point you realize that you're no longer wearing any pants. That's basically what all dreams are in a nutshell...totally fucking retarded. ( Click Below for More ) Need more proof? My biggest dream is to live around Germans for as long as I can. How dumb is that?! I don't even know why I want to do this and, honestly, I wouldn't be too surprised to look down one day and realize that I haven't been wearing pants for the last year. The other part of my dream is much much cooler and involves devising a way to pretty much never have to pay to get into a concert ever again, get free music and free music swag for me and my friends and to basically get paid to ...

I got an email this morning from Tunde who forwarded me an essay that his seven-year-old nephew, nicknamed Bookie, was instructed to write after hitting Tunde's other nephew (a two-year-old). The essay's topic? Reasons why you shouldn't pick on kids smaller than you. Regrettably, Tunde was unable to scan the real thing, as that would have been awesome. However, I've reproduced what I imagine the original essay looks like (click below to read it). I'm amazed at this kid's maturity. At the tender age of seven, he's realized one of life's most important lessons: No matter how tempted you are to double backflip lightening kick or reverse and lunge punch someone in their stupid face...you can't, you just can't. The end result is either death (bad) or severe neck pain (which anyone over 25 can tell you, it feels almost worse than death). For those of you having trouble reading the text, here it is again: "The reason why I cant hit kids younger ...

But you don't have to take my word for it It started out innocent enough, sweet even. Mo called me yesterday evening for one of our little chats. At some point in the conversation, Mo was telling me that he was going to take me out for sushi sometime next month, because he knows a great sushi place in St. Pauli with an affordable all-you-can-eat deal. So, I'm thinking...awesome, right? Free sushi. A few minutes later, we were done with the sushi topic and for some reason had moved on to the subject of airline baggage allowances -- you know, like how heavy your bag can be when you fly. I told him that a suitcase can't weigh more than 70lbs (for an international flight). He didn't believe me and said that 70lbs didn't sound like enough. It turned into a bizarre shouting match. Finally, he had to go do something else and I said, "Ok, if I'm right, then I'll take you out for sushi." The agreement was made, he hung up. I checked a couple of airline we...

If you've never seen this little girl in your life, then I don't expect you to know what the fuck it is that I'm talking about. I gotta say it was a good day. Everyday I think I find another new reason to love my new neighborhood. As usual, I gotta back up here a bit. The weekend before we officially moved in -- as Schmidt and Co. were putting in the flooring -- the boys took a break and we went down to the Ottenser Hauptstrasse in search of tasty vittles. Along the way, Olleg commented to me, "Hey, there's a salon around the corner from you guys that specializes in black people hair. Schmidt was saying how you'd appreciate that." I tenatively answered, "Ok....thanks for the info..." Then, last weekend, Schmidt was in town and we were riding in the bus. It passed by an "Afro Shop" (one of many in the area) and Schmidt was like, "You were always talking about how there aren't that many of these types of shops around...but, ...

The perfect way to compliment your peanut butter and crack sandwich. I didn't feel like posting yesterday, even though I've got a bunch of little things that I've been wanting to write and plenty of time on my hands. I'm not particularly keen on writing today either, but I figure it's the best way to distract myself. This weekend, Wonfuzius and I came up with a new random phrase to add on to the end of sentences. It goes: "...and I wasn't even thinking about black people at all." You kind of have to pause slightly for effect after the word "people". You can say it after lots of stuff. With time, I hope that it will become the new "yeah, that's what your mom said last night." Cross your fingers... Remember when I told y'all about how Papa Schmidt somehow got the idea in his head that I like to drink dishwashing liquid? As slightly disturbing as that was, I didn't have too much of a problem dealing with it, since Papa Sc...

Well, there's finally an internet connection at the new crib. This is good because I can finally get back to posting regularly. Whenever I'd go to the nearby internet café to check my email, I'd think about writing an update, but it's pretty much impossible for me to write a post AND check/respond to emails in the 30 minute time frame I gave myself. Oh, also I learned that my blog looks really shitty in Internet Explorer browsers. Actually, I already knew this and didn't care because I didn't ever have to look at it in IE. Anyway, I'm probably never going to fix this. So, if you insist on using Internet Explorer to read my blog...oh well...sucks to be you, I guess. Not too much to report this week. A good portion of people I know weren't even in Hamburg for most of the week, but rather in such exotic locales as: Toulouse , Mecklenburg-Vorpommern , Sylt , Munich (I think) and, the always lovely, Ruhrpott (what what, indeed). This left me pretty much to ...