If it's not Raven, it's crap...

Most of the past few days have been spent having quality time with The Boy . Let me explain something first, though, 'cause I feel this needs to be said. I don't call him The Boy in that douche-y way in which chicks sometimes refer to their dudes. Also, no offense intended to chicks who do that. I know plenty of people (who I like and admire, etc.) who do just this thing and I often even find myself also engaging in the practice, but -- you gotta admit -- it is pretty fuckin douche-y. No, I refer to him here as The Boy ...because, well...let's just say that when I was a first-year in college, he was... like 13. I mean, it's all on the up and up these days, but yeah... I sometimes find myself asking (out loud) who's got the better part of this deal? Note: For discretionary purposes, I'm going leave out the exact when and where of how I met The Boy . But let's just call the when "sometime last month" and the where "somewhere outside of my apar...

It's the 4th Annual Hug a Mulatto Day! !! Can you believe it? I can't. The Boy told me this morning that I should sleep in and go to work late and if the boss asked, then I should tell him it's a very important holiday. Unfortunately, we're not quite there yet. Perhaps next year when HaMD falls on a Saturday for its fifth anniversary. A gigantic party party with all of your favorite Mulatto stars will be the order of the day. Mark your calendars now. Do it . Note: When I say "gigantic party" I mean something more along the lines of "an intimate social gathering" and by "all of your favorite Mulatto stars"...I mean, of course, "me". By now, just about all of my friends know (and love) Hug a Mulatto Day (or else), which is pretty amazing for something I just kind of came up with at the spur of the moment. I found myself wishing that I had set my sights on something a little bigger than just hugs. It's too late to go changing i...

10.) Captain Jean-Luc Picard – There’s a cardboard cutout of the Cap’n hanging out at the FHHM office in a room that’s usually pretty dark. When you pass by, all you see is like the shadow of a figure. It scares the crap out of me everytime. It scares the crap out of everyone always. It half reminds me of that scene from Home Alone, where Kevin uses the cardboard figures to trick the burglars into thinking that there’s a party going on in the house. The other half of me is relieved to know that the good captain has always got his eyes on us, even if it is sorta extra creepy. Make it so, Jean-Luc…make it so. 9.) My Stamp – I discovered a stamp on my desk. You know, the kind where you can scroll to the day/month/year and then it’s also got things like “received,” “controlled by,” “valid/invalid,” I used to just put a checkmark and my signature on invoices that landed on my desk. Now I’m a stamping fiend. This is probably how the douchebags at the Immigration Office get off. I can’t s...

Hooray for Korea! A part of me feels like I wasted a lot of time this weekend, because I spent most of the day after arriving back in Hamburg in bed trying to fend off the effects of jetlag and sluggishness (brought on by motion sickness pills). Yesterday was pretty much a case of same thing, different day – because I was once again a lazy mofo, this time recovering from the aftermath of BOTY madness , a cold that I haven’t really been able to shake for like almost a month, leftover jetlag and a slight hangover probably caused by a couple of shots of "Strandhafer" – which is a very spicy, hard licquor from the German island of Amrum . Since my roommate is the complete opposite of a lazy ass, sometimes I feel guilty for not being more motivated to do shit on Sundays. But I figured if the Good Lord intended for Germans to be productive on Sundays, then he would do something about every freakin place being closed. (Ok, technically, this isn’t quite the case anymore, but still – ...

I managed to spend most of the day lying around in bed. However, I did upload some pictures. Here's a slide show for your viewing pleasure. I didn't photographically document everything, but I suppose these are the highlights... enjoy!

Schmidt and I arrived safe and sound in Hamburg a few hours ago. Thanks to some good ol' Dramamine , I managed to control my motion sickness for the most part, while pretty much knocking myself the fuck out for the majority of the flight. Now, I'm just fighting the drug-induced grogginess. I gotta rest up though, since I'm off to Braunschweig , Germany's 2007 City of Science, bright and early tomorrow for the International Battle of the Year . What a whirlwind life I lead. Pics to arrive shortly, probably Sunday at the earliest. I'm gonna try to catch a bit of shut-eye in the meantime. For those of you seeking some form of reading entertainment, I would like to direct you to the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks . I'll holla...

"You ain't seen Bad Boys 2?!" It's our last night in Oklahoma City. We're drinking Lost Lake beer and reminiscing. My family and friends love Schmidt ...probably more than they like me. They all call him Schmiddy ...like without even hesitating. It's a little scary. Also Schmidt , well...he has become attached to my family. He's been officially assimilated. Seriously, they totally added him to their Myspace pages. For reals though, it's been really helpful having him here. It hasn't been all fun and games to say the least. He's put up with my stress and my crazy siblings...and for that I will be forever grateful. Love ya, Schmiddy

I've somewhat come to terms with the fact that I can't upload any of the pictures from my shitty camera and I've been using Pickles' phone so that I can at least put some stuff up here. Here you can clearly see the back of Schmidt's head as he sits by a little pond at the Myriad Botanical Gardens . We spent Friday doing a bit of sightseeing. Playing tour guide is always tough for me (granted, I rarely get the chance) because it usually morphs into a futile attempt at mind-reading. It's me trying to figure out what someone else might find interesting. It puts unspeakable amounts of pressure on me to know that their overall experience essentially relies on how good I am at showing them points of interest. That, combined with the fact that it's been about a minute since I've actually lived in Oklahoma -- and even longer since I've gone around and looked at shit for purely recreational purposes. I haven't stepped foot into many of these places sinc...

Officially Hammered ...Power Hour is an easy game. Well fuck you, bitches. By the way this is a guest entry by the mofo from OKC . Anyways, as you can literararily see, I got hammered. Playing this game is not a sure shot - as you German cunts might think. Of course this is not the end, as I'm writing this entry, but it's a whole lot of fun. X-specially if you've had a couple of beers before you started playing, to salute lunch and if you have shot glasses big enough, so that you have to acquire more beer along that hour. What's one of the mostestests funz is Brookzez'z mix of drinking musik. You don't even know what y'alls missing out on. Gots to love that Brooks , and that other Brooks and that other Brooks and.... but x-specially that Brooks .

That's only like 2.80€ Yadda, yadda...it's been about a minute since my last update. Last week was a bit hectic and I have the photographic evidence to prove it. What I failed to mention was that I arrived, safe and sound, in Oklahoma City around 11pm on Monday evening. Schmidt arrived equally safe and sound. I just realized that I forgot to bring my camera cable, so I haven't been able to upload any pictures. Right now, we're staying at Pickles and Remy's apartment and Schmidt is chillaxing on the sofa watching a History Channel special about Samurai. So far, I've dragged him around town to meet all of my siblings living in the city (i.e. all but two) and we went to Taco Bell twice in one day. And, it goes without saying, my family has accepted him as one of their own. It helps that they don't actually have much choice in the matter. It also helps that Schmidt is fucking awesome . He made Spaghetti Deluxe last night. A better, more comprehensive update...

Oh man, y'all know my favorite holiday is coming up soon! I'm so psyched, that I'm declaring October "Mulatto Appreciation Month". The next four weeks are gonna be Mulatto-tastic, I'm telling you. Anyway, you've been warned -- so, it's like the man said, "Let's get that interracial humpin goin on!"