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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

"Don' mamaguy me nah"*

*Loose Translation: Quit being a suck up

Original Iron Chef was waaaay better
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Even though Robbyn has subscriptions to Southern and Midwest Living -- and they're technically "gifts from Grandma" -- neither she, nor I would ever be confused for anything resembling what is known in some circles as a "domestic goddess".

Robbyn is more obsessive-compulsive than Suzy-Homemakery and I am, well... let's just say there's a method to my madness and domesticity isn't really anywhere in the method.

Oddly enough, we are currently engaged in a culinary battle for our mother's affections (all Iron Chef-sans-secret-ingredient-style). Using my mom as the jury, Robbyn and I take turns making dinner and using the food as proof of who loves Mom the most (i.e. the less delicious the dish = less love for Mama B.)

Neither one of us are horrible cooks, but we're not master chefs either. We manage to get by on the account of our strengths and despite our weaknesses in the kitchen:

Robbyn's strengths: ability to follow recipes to the letter, combined with a stockpile of recipes cut out from her magazines.
Robbyn's weaknesses: fear of improvisation, too OCD

Raven's strengths: keen sense of "tastes that taste good together", frequent use of onions
Raven's weaknesses: short attention span, laziness, frequent use of onions

Onions are the shit.

If the dish is lacking in the area of complexity and fancy-schmancy-ness, we make up for that with creativity in naming the dish after our mother. Such as Robbyn's "Marie's Beautiful Garlic Sesame Chicken" or my "Robbyn is a dirty liar, I've always loved you the most, Mom - Casserole"

Our goal is to break her down and make her admit that she loves one of us more than the other.

Yesterday I struck a devestating blow upon Robbyn's efforts by pulling out the big guns, namely recipes from the Old Country (Trinidad). My mom's been reminiscing about Trinidad lately and I offered to try to make her some curry chicken and bussupshot (which is a kind of torn up roti/flatbread), which I made yesterday. Well, not the bussupshot, because that would first require an audience with my Aunt Helen...but I made a quite decent curry chicken with saffron rice. I like to call it "Beautiful Marie's Most Beautiful Curry Chicken and Saffron Rice Lovingly Prepared by Marie's Sweetest Daughter, Raven"

Take that, Robbyn.

Except now, I have to repeat the process in order to prove to my sister Gillian that I made it. This will be done on Friday, but I will accompany the curry with either bussupshot or fry-bake depending on whether or not I completely screw up the process (in other words, it'll come out as bussupshot if I get it right, but fry-bake if I eff it all up).

Let it be known, Gillian, that I do expect some beer in return.

And speaking of beer, the Red Stripe commercials are some of the best beer commercials that I've seen in a very long time.

Hooray Beer! Possibly the best slogan ever.
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You can check them out here (or if the link doesn't work right, there's the U.S. Red Stripe Homepage)

I particularly like the "Household Chemicals" and "Send the Right Message" Public Service Announcements.

Oh them island folks is crazy!

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