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Sunday, October 02, 2005

Meet the Brookses Part 2

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The year that I entered the second grade at Ridgeview Elementary was the same year that Remington and Cristal started kindergarten at that very same school. We all went to Ridgeview until I went off to middle school. I didn't mind going to the same school so much, because we never really encountered each other during the day. We had different lunch times and recess periods and were, for the most part, in completely different areas of the building.

There was a time when our dad used to pick us up after school on a fairly regular basis. However, most of the time, we had to walk home together. Our house wasn't terribly far away from the school (about a 20-30min walk, give or take). Quite often, Cristal would say something to me during this walk that would just annoy the shit out of me and I would swing my backpack full of books around and wack her. Then she'd spend the rest of the journey home crying.

That's a pretty accurate description of the early years of the Raven and Cristal relationship. She annoyed me and I lashed out at her. I've beat her up, tied her up, locked her in trunks (with Remington's help)...I even accidentally stabbed her in the ass with a compass (actually I had just strategically placed the metal point so that she would sit on it -- then she did). For the most part, I ignored her existence throughout high school...and college.

But after I came back to Oklahoma after graduation, I started hanging out and talking about real stuff with her. I basically caught up on all of those years where we didn't really talk.

I can't say that I fully understand everything she does, but I definitely feel more like her big sister now...which is a strange feeling in itself.

Anyway, this afternoon while we were watching some TV in my room, I decided it was time for y'all to meet Cristal.

Raven: So, Cristal, what does it feel like being a twin?

Cristal: Umm…I dunno…it feels normal, I guess. I mean…ahhhh…full house…sorry, I’m watching the poker game. I mean, when I was younger I kicked it with Remington and his friends…all tomboyish and that. I don’t really feel like a twin, I feel like the youngest child. I’m glad I don’t have a girl twin, though. Throw me the lighter.

Rave: If you could tell Remington anything right now, what would it be?

Cris: If I could tell him anything?! Oh, I’d tell him that Richard Tipton is gay. Hailey showed me his website. I don’t know if he knows that yet. I done heard a whole buncha things…

Rave: What’s your drink of choice?

Crown Royal. But E&J when I can’t afford it…which is most of the time.

Rave: What are your Top 3 celebrity choices for baby’s daddy and why?

Cris: Sean Paul, even though I don’t really do them light-skinned ones. Kayne West, 'cause he’s just fine like that. Plus he’s dark chocolate…well not real dark chocolate, but you know. And I’m gonna say Boris Kodjoe…

Rave: Amen...

Cris: We would have pretty babies. I mean I’d have pretty babies with all of them...even though I ain't tryin to do that...

Rave: Why do you watch so much Food Network?

Cris: I dunno, I just like it. Maybe 'cause I’m always hungry and one day I’ll learn how to cook something.

Rave: So, what’s your favorite show on FN?

Cris: I usually watch that Rachel Ray 30 Minute Meals or Iron Chef. I don’t really fuck with all that alcohol in recipes kinda thing like the Barefoot Contessa…(long pause)…you know Mekhi Pfeiffer likes sushi?

Rave: Dude, sushi is good. I love sushi. You can get it without fish, you know.

Cris: Maybe I would have liked it when our neighbors made it...if I hadn’t burned my mouth putting all that wasabi on it.

Rave: How much did you put on it?

Cris: Well, I thought it was some avocado shit…so…a lot.

Rave: Do you have a favorite memory of you and I hanging out?

Cris: Just me and you? There was that time at Hawaiian Don’s for my 21st birthday, but Robbyn was there too, so I guess that don’t count. But really, just those times where we sit back and chill. Like in the garage smoking and stuff…and watching our reality shows and ER.

(pause for Kanye’s Gold Digger video)

…I’ll be in your video, Kanye. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go be a video ho.

Rave: Know who else wanted to be a video ho?

Cris: No, who?

Rave: Bianca.

Cris: That’s what I was gonna say, either Bianca or her sister.

Rave: What if I said that it’s one of my goals in life to get my name tattooed on your body? What would I have to do to get this goal accomplished?

Cris: You don’t have to do much, I’d probably do it. But then I’d have to get Robbyn and Remington and Dad’s name up on here. That could be arranged, I think. But it’d have to be small…maybe just y’all’s initials. 'Cause I got mom’s name on me.

Well…actually…maybe if you died…then you could get your whole name…

Rave: Who, in your opinion, has done gone and lost they damn mind?

Cris: I’d have to go with Darron. He hasn’t really recently lost his mind, but over the years…and you should just go ahead and put me up there on that list too, I guess...

Rave: Do you have beef with anyone right now?

Cris: I’m having beef with sugar daddy *laughs*. Hm, anyone else? No, just him, I think.

Rave: What are you doing when you’re not here at the house?

Cris: Nothing. Same thing I’m doing when I’m here. Any more questions in this damn interview?

Rave: No, but thanks for your time.

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