Skip to main content

The oldest trick in the book

I think I spoke too soon about the highlight of my day. I just made a quick run to the corner 7-11 to buy some smokes. The nice late-night clerk chick was working (as opposed to the bitchy clerk chick with the weird skin condition who's there during the day).

Anyway, there's this old guy standing by the register and he and the clerk are chatting and laughing about something. When I get up there, the clerk turns to me and says, "Do you have a minute? Can you explain how he does this?" And I'm like, "Wha?"

So, I turn to look at the guy, and he has a small paper bag in his hand. Then he says, "Look, I have an invisible ball." Then, he proceeds to bounce said "invisible ball". He bounces it a few times before giving it one last, hard bounce...following the "ball" up with his eyes...and then "catching" it in the small paper bag. Except it really sounded like a tennis ball or something landed in the bag, even though there was nothing in there.

I thought it was pretty amazing, but then again, I'm easily fooled/impressed. And of course, I asked him to repeat the trick...and he did, with the same results.

I was still amazed, but I hadn't gotten any cigarrettes. So, I'm telling the clerk what I wanted, when the old guy starts hitting on me. He's said, "I may be 89 years old, but I know beautiful when I see it...now don't go telling your husband I said that."

I'm like, "Ok, I won't." (for as we all know, my husband is an insanely jealous man...the damn bastard)

As I'm leaving the 7-11, the dude says to me, "You have a nice night now, Sweetie. By the way, my name is Sly...and you can find me in the phonebook under Sugar Daddy."

Oh the hilarity of it all...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

 Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me.  I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e   and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization.  I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e  had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday....

9 Days in Paris (Part 1)

Now that Dreamweek is over and I've had a chance to get a bit settled, I've got a bit of time to reflect and share some thoughts about my Paris vacation. It's going to be a multi-part "series" so that I can recall things better. Frosty will probably pipe up at some point in the comments to dispute my recollection of some events. There are two sides to every story, unfortunately his side of the story doesn't have a blog. :-P Spending 9 days in Paris for vacation is a bit overkill. Especially if it's your first trip, especially if you're trying to fit in most of the major attractions in the city. I don't know how people manage to see all that crap in one weekend (or crazier still, an under 48 hours trip). We spent an average of 8-10 hours walking around each day, I feel like I've only seen about 5% of what the city has to offer. I basically crashed into bed at the end of each day. That said, overall, it was a pleasant experience. I took a lot of...