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Suck on my lotto-balls




It's like herpes, but without the embarrassing breakouts...or so I've been told
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Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. Starting at 5:01am, Oklahoma State Lottery tickets go on sale. And y'all better believe that at the stroke of 5:01am... I'll be sprawled across my bed and tucked under my covers, mentally counting down the minutes until Alarm #2 goes off, and generally wishing that I didn't have to get up for work...cause...fuck the lottery, that's why.

My dad might dig it though, because when Powerball gets here come November...he won't have to drive all the way to Kansas in order to play.

But as for me personally...I mostly hate the lottery for two reasons.

1.) Picking numbers is hard work.

Ok, not "hard work", but stupid and boring to me. I bet my dad thinks it's stupid and boring work as well, because occasionally on one of his little road trips up to KS, he'll buy a bang of tickets and give them to me or Robbyn to fill out. It's like taking one of those little "fill in the bubble" tests that they give in school...except you almost always fail.

2.) The lottery makes people crazy.

I worked really hard my sophomore year at Smith. For real. Well, aside from that little prank war thing. All that hard work had me stressed out, especially around finals. During these kinds of times, I had always found it helpful to talk to my dad. So, when I got to my room one day (close to Christmas Break) and found a voicemail from my dad, I naturally assumed he had called to give me some fatherly "hang in there" advice. However, to my surprise he said something along the lines of "Hey, can you buy a lottery ticket before you come home next week and I'll pay you back?"

Riiiight.

Anyway, I suppose it's for a good cause, as I heard that most of the revenue from the lottery is supposed to go towards the state's educational fund.

Lesson #1, kids:

Don't start a gambling habit.

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