Suck on my lotto-balls

*It's like herpes, but without the embarrassing breakouts...or so I've been told*

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. Starting at 5:01am, Oklahoma State Lottery tickets go on sale. And y'all better believe that at the stroke of 5:01am... I'll be sprawled across my bed and tucked under my covers, mentally counting down the minutes until Alarm #2 goes off, and generally wishing that I didn't have to get up for work...cause...fuck the lottery, that's why.

My dad might dig it though, because when Powerball gets here come November...he won't have to drive all the way to Kansas in order to play.

But as for me personally...I mostly hate the lottery for two reasons.

1.) Picking numbers is hard work.

Ok, not "hard work", but stupid and boring to me. I bet my dad thinks it's stupid and boring work as well, because occasionally on one of his little road trips up to KS, he'll buy a bang of tickets and give them to me or Robbyn to fill out. It's like taking one of those little "fill in the bubble" tests that they give in school...except you almost always fail.

2.) The lottery makes people crazy.

I worked really hard my sophomore year at Smith. For real. Well, aside from that little prank war thing. All that hard work had me stressed out, especially around finals. During these kinds of times, I had always found it helpful to talk to my dad. So, when I got to my room one day (close to Christmas Break) and found a voicemail from my dad, I naturally assumed he had called to give me some fatherly "hang in there" advice. However, to my surprise he said something along the lines of "Hey, can you buy a lottery ticket before you come home next week and I'll pay you back?"

Riiiight.

Anyway, I suppose it's for a good cause, as I heard that most of the revenue from the lottery is supposed to go towards the state's educational fund.

Lesson #1, kids:

Don't start a gambling habit.

Comments

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me. I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization. I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday. Mr. S: Ok. (Ac

More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 5)

Pro tip: Don't estimate the amount of time it will take to review your citizenship application based on the amount of time it took to get the results of your citizenship test. So far, this has been the area of the German-side of the process that ran a little closer to my bureaucratic expectations, namely, if an official expresses a length of time -- e.g. 3-6 months -- things will start moving closer to the six month mark than the three month mark. Getting down to the wire, I was (and still am) slightly concerned that this would drag on and I would have to renew my U.S. passport first, since it's getting kinda close to the point where it's only valid for six months. This would have cost me 1.) more money 2.) plus a trip to a consulate that actually does shit for U.S. citizens 3.) money and time off work for a trip to Bremen, Berlin, or Frankfurt. As luck would have it, I finally received notification that the Germans are letting me in! The full term is that they are

More crap »

If it's not Raven, it's crap...

Search This Blog