Things to do on your day off

"Remember: Two lines for positive, one line for negative, young lady."

I don't remember how old I was the first time I went into a dollar store. Pretty young, I suppose, and it was a little shop in Quail Springs Mall appropriately named "Everything is a $1.00!!!" (with exclamation points and everything for emphasis). I was young enough to think that a store where every item cost $1.00 was amazing.

In truth, the dollar store was the place to go if you needed cheap costume jewelry or more artificial flowers. That's about the only stuff they sold, nothing terribly useful...and forget about a brand name. Still, if you were a kid, the dollar store was the shit.


Nowadays the dollar store is better than ever. Sure, they still sell cheap plastic flowers and toys only fit for the most illegitimate of your nieces and nephews*, but now they actually have somewhat useful products in stock as well. I've gotten a bit into the habit of checking the neighborhood Dollar Tree, before going to some other store, because, hey, if I can find what I'm looking for and it'll only cost a buck...then I'm down. I'm on a budget, bitches.

Anyway, I've been kinda sick for awhile and because of a heinous work schedule, I haven't been able to get around to buying a new, cold-germ free toothbrush until today. So, I decided to hit up the Dollar Tree this afternoon to see what they had to offer in terms of toothbrush selection. They had them fancy-schmancy toothbrush numbers, but I settled on a 4-pack of toothbrushes...and some other stuff...

A 4-pack of toothbrushes, some cough syrup, knock-off Thin Mints, and a home pregnancy test. Total cost = $4.34

Really, there are only 2 things pictured that I actually need at the moment (that would be toothbrushes and the cough syrup...I'm still hacking up a bit of mucus). I'm like 99.999999999999999% certain that I'm not pregnant at the moment. But if peace of mind only costs $1...who the hell could pass that up?! Plus, Halloween is tomorrow, trick or treat, chil'rens...

As for the imitation Thin Mint cookies, it looks like I don't have to wait around for the Girl Scouts to come a-knockin' anymore.

1 box Thin Mints: $2.50-$4.00/ box
4 oz bottle of Robitussin: $4.49
4 Toothbrushes: $3.99 x 2
1 Pregnancy Test: $5.59

Saving over $16 on mostly useless items...priceless...



* = Just kidding. I only give my brother's illegitimate children the finest gifts that the 7-11 candy isle has to offer...