Sweet Home Oklahoma

*Hell yeah that canal is fake...what of it?!*

Let's just get this out of the way. I like being from Oklahoma. I like going to other places, but coming back to Oklahoma City always feels really nice. Sure, I clown on my home state/city a lot and scoff at the contradictions (e.g. airports named after guys that died in a plane crash or how we're the only state in the union where tattooing is still illegal, but we REALLY want to be a permanent home to an NBA team), but I don't like when other people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about clown Oklahoma (and, more generally, places that they've never been).

It's kinda like how I can say that I've got three sisters that are psychos...like seriously psycho...but I swear if I hear that shit coming out of anyone else's mouth...it's beatdown time. I can say that because I know them. Well, I'm not gonna beat you down for talking shit about Oklahoma...but if you've never actually been here...well...can it.

Want another parallel? It's like how I can say that I don't like Paderborner Pilsener -- cause I've tried it, and I don't -- but then base my whole opinion of Paderborn, Germany (where I've never been) on that one crappy beer. That's not such a good comparison, I just want to make sure Toby is paying attention.

Anyway...I think what I'm trying to say is that there are lots of great places in OKC that people should know about...so I'm going to start highlighting them (whenever I feel like it) in my blog.

Eat your heart out, tourism board.

*It's X-TREME!!*

Ladies and Gentlemen...behold...The Beef Jerky Emporium. I couldn't have come up with a better name for a business myself. This modest shoppe is located a few miles away from my house. Can you guess what they sell? That's right...200 different varieties of dried meats. No, not just beef...but salmon...buffalo...alligator...you name it.

And as if that wasn't all...they sell hot sauce...lots and lots of hot sauce. And nuts.

Need I say more?

Comments

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me. I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization. I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday. Mr. S: Ok. (Ac

More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 5)

Pro tip: Don't estimate the amount of time it will take to review your citizenship application based on the amount of time it took to get the results of your citizenship test. So far, this has been the area of the German-side of the process that ran a little closer to my bureaucratic expectations, namely, if an official expresses a length of time -- e.g. 3-6 months -- things will start moving closer to the six month mark than the three month mark. Getting down to the wire, I was (and still am) slightly concerned that this would drag on and I would have to renew my U.S. passport first, since it's getting kinda close to the point where it's only valid for six months. This would have cost me 1.) more money 2.) plus a trip to a consulate that actually does shit for U.S. citizens 3.) money and time off work for a trip to Bremen, Berlin, or Frankfurt. As luck would have it, I finally received notification that the Germans are letting me in! The full term is that they are

More crap »

If it's not Raven, it's crap...

Search This Blog