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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Gentlemen, behold!

Oh snap, indeed

Last week Mo stopped by in his spiffy VW Passat station wagon on his way back to beautiful, downtown Marschacht-City, Niedersachsen (215 miles west of the real Sachsen). We went for ice cream and on the way back he let me shift the gears in the car, while he steered and did all the fancy foot work.

I'm not ashamed to say it...I can't drive a stick shift. I honestly feel this is through no fault of my own. Just as I turned 15, my dad sold his jeep and bought the pick-up truck of his dreams, so I had to learn to drive using my mom's minivan.

Over the years, I've practically begged people to teach me how to drive standard, only to have them tell me that their vehicle is somehow particularly tricky to use (e.g. the clutch is too sticky or it's hard to shift or a family of beavers live in the engine). Just about everyone but Bianca gave me some kind of excuse like that...unfortunately before Bianca could teach me, some drunk idiot plowed into her car (she wasn't in it), rendering the car literally undriveable...

So instead of learning this valuable skill while my brain was still young and pliable and ready to learn new information, I've had to wait 10 years and now my brain cells are getting old and full of beer and could care less about learning and retaining new information.

That said, Wonfuzius, André and I went for a spin in Wonfuzius' brand-spankin' secondhand Honda Civic hatchback last night. Making good on the promise he made years ago, we found a somewhat vacant lot where I learned about first and second gear and reverse, while André sat in the backseat screaming, "Clutch! Clutch! Press the clutch!"

It was exciting and very frustrating. Since there was not really any space to turn around, I just did a lot of driving forward, putting the car in reverse, backing up and doing it again. Wonfuzius is certain that I'll be ready for 3rd gear quite soon.

After the lesson was over, we were driving around (somewhere near Berliner Tor, I think) when we saw this place:

Where the elite meet to talk shit
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Between the three of us, we have the maturity level of a 12 year old boy with Attention Deficit Disorder AND Tourette's. It's awesome.

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