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A few months ago, I embarked on an ambitious mission to take a picture of every sign, product, etc. with the word "Fee" on it. In German, Fee means fairy and is pronounced sorta like fay. It's also better than the English "fee", which, if i have one, it just means money outta my damn pocket.
But nothing tops MissFee (pronounced K.T.), my Non-Sexual Life Partner, whose birthday is today.
I wanted to post all those Fee Photos today, but I'm a moron and accidentally deleted all of the pictures that I had been saving up since around July . There weren't sooo many, I just usually forget to have my camera on me and it took a few months for the pictures to accumulate. Actually, two of them survived: the one you see above and this gem
And...as you can see...this picture doesn't really relate to MissFee at all. Now I feel kinda S.O.L* in terms of a cool birthday message. So, I suppose I will have to (as they say) pull one out of my ass. Here goes:
Dear MissFee,
in honor of your 26th birthday, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup will be consumed. Also, when we get old, I promise that I won't toss you out on the street like a pair of old Chucks. Because seriously, I'm sure there's still a couple more years left in those things. That's why God invented Febreze...and the wind. And though I'm quite sure you will smell of roses and bubble gum when you get old...should that not be the case, I will make it my duty to regularly spray you down with Febreze and air you out. Because that's what Non-Sexual Life Partners are for, right?
Love,
Raven
*= For the German-speakers: "shit out of luck" / Arschkarte ziehen (in case you didn't know)
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