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Lunchtime survey

I stumbled across this survey on LiveJournal and since it's my lunch break and I forgot my lunch...well, here it goes:

(Click below for more)

1. You wake up and there are spiders all over your wall and on your bed. What do you do?:

I'm not down with spiders. Unless we're talking about Spider-Man...he could stay. So, I'd probably just scream. A lot. Maybe try to vacuum them all up and I would *seriously* consider finding another place to live.

2. After you handled your spider problem, you go to take a shower. You turn on the water and... mud comes out. What now?:

Lucky for me, I turn on the water before stepping in the shower. I'd get dressed as usual. If I felt particularly not-so-fresh, due to the spider incident, I could always take a shower at work. At any rate, I'd definitely spend the morning surfing the net for a new place.

3. Now you want to eat breakfast. You open the cabinet and there`s nothing in it! What do you do for breakfast?:

Buy a Franzbrötchen for 50 cents at the Schanzen-Backerei in the Mundsburg subway station like I do almost every other morning. I never really feel like eating before noon anyway.

4. After that, you decide to go for a walk. You trip over a cup, and a genie pops out and says he'll grant you one wish. What do you wish for? (no, you can't wish for more wishes!):

My wish would be to win a large sum of money in the court case in which I sue both the person who left the cup lying around for me to trip over and the city for failing to pick up the cup before I tripped over it. You know, pain and suffering and such... and naturally, the other guys pay for my lawyer fees.

5. After you made your wish, you find a $30 bill on the ground! But wait.. there's no such thing! What do you do with it?:

Buy crack.

6. While walking on, your favorite celebrity is walking toward you! Who is this celebrity and what do you say?:

"Tupac, you're back!"

7. The celebrity gives you two concert tickets to your favorite band's concert because they can't go. What band is it and who will you bring?:

Tupac will give me two tickets to see Reel Big Fish. I will promptly eat the 2nd ticket, ensuring that no one else can go.

8. That celebrity also lets you pick a song for your favorite band to play. What song do they play?:

The RBF cover of "Hungry Like The Wolf"

9. After your walk, you go home and check your mail. What's this? You win a $10,000 shopping spree at your favorite store? What store is it and what do you buy?:

Any record shop. I'd buy an ass load of records, two turntables (and a microphone).

10. After that, you invite a friend over and you order pizza. The pizza is glowing green, but you eat it anyway. After you eat it, you have superpowers! What powers do you have?:

The power to be better than you.

11. What do you do with your superpowers?:

Duh...it's pretty self-explanitory, I think.

12. Now that you have superpowers and just about everything you ever wanted, you get to re-open a favorite store of yours that closed. Which store do you re-open?:

Caribbean Corner...except I won't open it back up in the ghetto this time and there'll be curry and roti available everyday!!

13. Now you're on the computer and see you can get your own domain name for $30! (oh, the $30 bill!) What's your domain name?:

Aside from the fact that we've already established that a $30 bill isn't legal tender...I'll just use some of that other money that I came into in order to purchase www.jesustittyfuckingchrist.org

14. Okay, now that you have your domain name, what do you put on your website?:

Self-help books and videos. Also porn.

15. After you finished your website, you decide you need some sleep since you had a long day. You go to your room only to discover the spiders are back. What do you do?:

Kill my landlord.

16. You don't even want to sleep in your room anymore, so you sleep on the couch. In the middle of the night you're woken up by a bang on your roof. You go outside to check it out and... what the hell, it's Billie Joe Armstrong! What do you do?:

Shoot him. Never mess with black people when they're sleeping.

17. After you're done talking or doing whatever to Billie Joe, Tre and his magical drumsticks fall from the sky. Tre says he'll grant you one wish with his magical drumsticks. What do you wish for this time? (still, no wishing for more wishes):

A better apartment, cause I apparently live in a crazy shithole.

18. Now you're really tired, but you're hungry, too. So you decide to get a midnight snack. You open your refridgerator and find a lifetime supply of candy! Yay! What do you do?:

Duck out and head to my döner guy. He's open 'til 4am and I'm hungry, not high.

19. After eating that candy, you're too wired to sleep. You want to tell your friends about the coolness that happened! Who do you tell?:

Wait?! I eat the candy anyway?! That's not fair! I didn't even want the stupid candy. Fuck candy, I want döner! Well, since I'm so "wired" I suppose I'll just call all my friends, one by one and wake their asses up too.

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