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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Great Taco Debate

"I like to picture Jesus as a ninja, fighting off evil samurai..."
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Somehow, somewhere along the line, things got way out of control.

My comfy taco/movie night idea turned into a party. This isn't to say that I found that to be a "bad" thing, it's just not really what I had in mind. As usual, I only have myself to blame. First of all, to paraphrase the cinematic masterpiece Jaws, "I need a bigger living room..."

I started off with 10 invitees, which is two more people than the standard taco dinner 8. After two cancellations, I should have let it be, however, I decided instead to replace the guests. Then -- because I looks out for me favorite boys -- I told Schmidt and Wonfuzius to invite their special lady friends ('cause really, nothing says "I want you to want me" like taco/garlic/guacamole breath). Long story short, we ended up with 13 guests altogether. It's not a huge guest list, but unless your name is (the grown up, bearded) Jesus and you have a long enough table for 12 other people -- a sit down dinner is not really gonna happen.

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I did learn an important lesson in all of this, namely that the transition from sit down dinner to buffet will probably save you money in the long run. People eat far less if they do not have food within hand's reach. I think I shall call this Lebrookski's Unified Theory of Taco Buffet Laziness:

An individual will eat less food, when the distance between the individual and the food is greater than the maximum reaching span of the individual's arm

I was gonna have Schmidt make a formula for me, but he thought I was drunk when I was telling him this idea...and I suppose he just decided not to do it. Schmidt sucks like that sometimes.

At any rate, this is the only way that I can explain how we had 3kg of meat for 13 people and only managed to consume 1kg of it. I didn't have a problem with this either, because it's like I explained to Schmidt -- it's all part and parcel of being the mayor of Taco Town -- glorious leftovers! Without them, I wouldn't have come up with my most cleverest idea to date: The Taco Sandwich. It's taco meat, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and sour cream between two slices of toast and grilled on one of those sandwich making thingies. Delish, I say!

Sadly, none of my precious guacamole survived the party. I think this is because dip somehow transcends the laws of space and time, not to mention my theory of Taco Buffet Laziness. Also, my guacamole is the fuckin bomb!

Note: Everytime I make said guacamole, I think about how Miss Fee would flip her shit if she knew I put sour cream in it. The original recipe contained no sour cream, for the record, I just happen to like sour cream in my guac.

Lastly, I would just like give a big thank you to Schmidt, Wonfuzius, Toby, Buche, Hässa, Tiger, Mo, The Madame, Sabbel, Bepple, Maxi and Mike for giving me an evening where I could forget about my problems and eat some muthafuckin tacos!

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