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What happens in Poppenbüttel, stays in Poppenbüttel




"Awwwright... giggidy giggidy giggidy"
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Due to a series of unfortunate events, which I'd rather not get into, I've found myself smackdab in the middle of a much-needed, yet unplanned (and thus) sorta inconvenient "vacation". It sounds like an odd choice of words and it is...but like I said, I'm not gonna get into it.

Having no pressing appointments yesterday, I was pretty clueless as to how I was going to spend an entire day amusing myself. I think I should mention at this juncture that I don't have internet or TV, since I'm moving in about 2 weeks and it's been cancelled already. It pretty much goes without saying that the internets alone can amuse me for hours on end.

Anyway, with a surplus of time on my hands and lacking in the budget department, any activity that I decided to undertake would have to be cheap (re: free) and while lying in bed yesterday morning, it occured to me that with my monthly train ticket, I could go literally anywhere (within the the greater metropolitan Hamburg area), which left me with only one question: Where the hell do I want to go today?

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The Answer: Poppenbüttel.

The Reason: Who knows?

I was bored and it was something to do and somewhere to go. I'd never actually been there and the name is so funny to me. I know, I'm so immature...whatever, y'all know y'all like poppen too. Don't front...

The english equivalent would kinda be like if you staked out a piece of land way out in BFE, started up a town, and then actually named this town BFE...

Ok, so the actual name has nothing to do with the verb poppen...but that's the kind of shit that was basically irrelevant to me at the point when I made the decision to go there.

It was either Poppenbüttel or Mümmelmannsberg (Mt. Bunny Rabbit?) -- and I was bored, not filled with desire to get beat the fuck up.

I got up and got ready for my journey. However, once I was ready it occured to me that I didn't really have a plan for what to do once I got to my destination. What if Poppenbüttel was like the Vegas of northern Hamburg? What if it was just like a crappy station in the middle of nowhere?

So, I filled up a thermos with coffee and bought some muffins at Lidl before I went to the train station. Pay attention: that's how you make a win-win situation, boys and girls...

There's not a lot to see and/or do in Poppenbüttel. They have a frightfully small Saturn and a Subway....and believe it or not...a Starbucks...

Other inexpensive/free things you can do there:

- Pay 2 euros to tan for 10 minutes
- Free hearing test
- Kidney dialysis
- Go to the mall and talk to the lady on the first floor at stand where she demonstrates expensive coffee makers and listen to her sales pitch while drinking free coffee...

Can you guess which one I did?

The whole time I was thinking, "Man, if only she knew I had a whole thermos of coffee in my bag...sucker!"

It pretty much made the whole trip worth it.

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