Today I didn't even have to use my AK...

If you've never seen this little girl in your life, then I don't expect you to know what the fuck it is that I'm talking about.

I gotta say it was a good day.

Everyday I think I find another new reason to love my new neighborhood.

As usual, I gotta back up here a bit. The weekend before we officially moved in -- as Schmidt and Co. were putting in the flooring -- the boys took a break and we went down to the Ottenser Hauptstrasse in search of tasty vittles. Along the way, Olleg commented to me, "Hey, there's a salon around the corner from you guys that specializes in black people hair. Schmidt was saying how you'd appreciate that."

I tenatively answered, "Ok....thanks for the info..."

Then, last weekend, Schmidt was in town and we were riding in the bus. It passed by an "Afro Shop" (one of many in the area) and Schmidt was like, "You were always talking about how there aren't that many of these types of shops around...but, dude, there are a whole bunch."

I tried to explain that it wasn't the lack of shops that was my problem, rather that it was about finding a particular product.

"You mean, like finding the same products that they have in the U.S.?"

Which was when I realized that I should have somehow been more specific, but I didn't feel like getting into it at the time.

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Finding the same products from the U.S. was never the problem. There are not that many brands that cater to "ethnic hairstyles". It's like the same 5 fucking brands everywhere...worldwide. If you're familiar with shit like: Pink Lotion, Curl Activator, Organic Root Stimulator, Dark & Lovely, Bone Strait -- and the ever popular Mane and Tail (which is seriously some horse-hair grooming shit...) -- then congratulations, you've mastered the basics of "ethnic haircare". We're talking about universal shit here...I'm not being an uppity American here. Ask any black woman...

You know that song "Black Girl Pain" by Talib Kweli? It's all well and good. But true "Black Girl Pain" is sitting for upwards of 30-45 mins with extremely harsh chemicals in your hair until the point where you have chemical burns on your scalp -- and believe you me it burns like a mofo. And for what?! Just so that your hair is so straight that it blows in the wind. Why?! Because that's what's pretty. Sure, you're head gets all gross and scabbed up...but you look totally hot, right?! Right.

Moisture and humidity are the enemy. An 8 ounce bottle of Frizz-Ease ain't gonna cut it. At most, it's a week's supply and you still end up looking like Don King.

But I digress, it's not about finding the same products as in the States. Like I said, if you're black and walk into the Afro Shop of your choice, you are going to recognize the brands there. It's all a question of finding the products that do what you want them to do.

The small shops (which most of them are) carry the following: weave & weave accessories, hair wax/pomade, relaxer and skin lightener. Oh, and Fufu flour...

I don't want a weave (and if you feel me, you're familar with that head-slap motion that accompanies weave that's been in a little too long and sprayed down one too many times). I don't want to grease up my hair with wax or pomade. I don't want to burn my scalp anymore...and, as a Mulatto, I feel that my skin is already light enough.

All I've been looking for, is something that keeps my curls lookin' muthafuckin tizzight...a bottle of non-oil based moisturizer that lasts more than a week.

And I've found this place. It's called Grace's World of Beauty...and they have everything.

Sure, it's a bit pricier than back at home, about 8 Euros for a bottle of Care Free Curl Gold, but I figure that the extra 4 Euros covers the shipping costs of having a big bottle sent to me from the States. It all balances out. Great shop.

Now, if I can just find an import shop that sells gigantor-sized bottles of Ibuprofen -- just kidding, that will never happen.