Skip to main content

Yoga Frog



The worst part about being a "grown up" is when you spend over 1/3 of your day around people that you mostly can't stand. It really fucks up that 1/3 of the day that you want to spend around people that you like and it's quite annoying when that last third (the sleeping part) incorporates horrible dreams about work/your workplace.

Because of the public nature of the internet, I won't go into my exact train of thought regarding a number of my colleagues. Suffice it to say, there are some for whom I wish a pox upon their houses (preferably, a pox of something awful...like really painful genital herpes). There's probably nothing grammatically correct in the previous sentence, but I don't care. Eff it.

Today, I received the plaster-cast, goldeny-spray painted yoga frog pictured above. It was a gift from our company's travel agency and, as our company's designated travel manager, it was given to me by default. Look at that shiny bastard. He's so content. It doesn't matter what comes his way, he's just all like "OMMMMMMMMMM -- bitches!!"

And that's exactly what I thought about each time I glanced over at him today.

His name is Lucient...and he's my yoga frog.

When I leave this company, he's coming with.

Comments

Anonymous said…
rub his belly, it's good luck.

also, are you trying to say morgan freeman is a golden ever-meditating frog?
lebrookski said…
re: morgan freeman

answer: yes
Anonymous said…
i love your frog and the fact that you named him. things need names. oh, i named my fancy tv zelda because she makes a crazy one life up noise when you turn her on or off.
Anonymous said…
Dude.. that is the coolest present i have ever seen

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

 Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me.  I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

...and now a few words about German Rap #1

Hi, I know many of you don't know or care about German-language rap, but I do. And sometimes I want to write about it. Without proper context or introductions or explanations, it might be a little tough to follow it all. However, I'll try to throw in some wikipedia links. If you do listen to/are interested in German-language rap, then here's a chance to read some of my opinions. - Raven (Keeping in mind that I have no kind of statistics to back this up) But I think that Fettes Brot (the German hip-hop trio) is probably the most overall dissed group in the German rap scene. Notice I used the qualifier "group" because the most dissed individual would probably be Eko Fresh (sorry, Frosty ?)-- because, really, that dude has stepped on A LOT of toes in (comparatively) short amount of time. You could maybe make the same case with Die Fantastischen Vier , but it's hard to diss bajillionaires. I mean, ok, it's actually really easy to diss bajillionaires, just ha...

Horden

I went into the kitchen after work the other day to grab myself a bite to eat. Looking over at the window, I saw three or four black dots crawling over the window. Moving in for a closer look, I then saw that the dots were actually ladybugs ( Marienkäfer ). And my heart was like, "Awwww...ladybugs...cute" or whatever. It wasn't long before I noticed that it wasn't merely three or four ladybugs, but a swarm of them congregating in the upper right corner of the window frame. Easily multiple dozens of them. I had forgotten that this happened once the weather dropped. The same thing occurred last fall/winter and it freaked me out. There were just so many of them. In my mind, I immediately thought of my niece Gabi. She's 10 years old now and I really don't know what she likes anymore, but back in the day, whenever she saw a ladybug, she would kind of flip out. Her reaction wasn't fear, but rather like she was almost emotionally overtaken by the sheer beauty of ...