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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Because I'm a woman of my word...

I was skyping with Pickles this afternoon and she reminded me of a "contract" inked long ago between me and my two young nieces. Although the contract is not dated, I'm assuming it's from sometime around early 2006 before I moved to Germany. It was witnessed by Pickles and signed by both parties (in this case, there are two separate contracts -- one per niece) and the witness. The lack of date probably makes it invalid in a court of law (well, that and a notary seal). However, I'm not a big fancy city lawyer and my family is kind of into silly contracts. 

Case in point: my younger siblings, who are fraternal twins (boy & girl), drew up an agreement that stated that Cristal (the younger) would for a certain period of time (I forgot how long) be referred to as "the older twin". Granted, Remy is only 22 minutes older -- but it seemed to make all the difference in the world to my little sister.

Anyway, this particular contract grants my nieces a sum of money, on the condition that THEY come to visit me in Germany.

For each visit, they will receive $40 each upon arrival.

However, the contract clearly stipulates that they have to visit their Aunt Raven (that's me btw) in order to qualify for the payout.

Now, how many times have they done that since 2006? That's right. Zero times. I'm no math whiz, but zero visits = zero dollars.

Dearest Zoe-bug,

I am more than willing to fulfill my end of our agreement. So what I would like you to do is contact your parents (those strange adult-like figures living in your house) and beg and plead with them to buy you and your sister plane tickets to Germany. Remember, you also need a passport to travel out of the country. Don't worry, passports don't cost that much and I'm sure Mom and Dad have the money just lying around somewhere. Then, once you have secured your plane tickets and fly over to Germany, I will come and pick you up at the airport. Once you get past customs, I will put the $40 right in your little hands. Do you like movies? We have a big movie theater right in our living room with lots of cartoons. There's lots of delicious food in Germany. Chocolate for example. People sure do talk funny here. You should come over and listen to them.


Auntie Raven

Click below to see a copy of Zoe's contract.

(Click to enlarge)


Pickles said...

Just so you know, Rem & Cris' contract was for 19yrs. They signed it on their 19th birthday & Cris is the older twin until they're 38. I have the original contract; signed, dated, & w/ 2 witnesses.

lebrookski said...

damn you keep track of everything!