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Friday, January 23, 2009

The New Year's Story Part 5

5D sharks and feeding frenzies are all well and good and entertaining -- in their own way, I suppose – but after the movie let out we picked right back up on a conversation that had started before the film (and which we had visited several times during the past 3 days). It revolved around Lina's missed period.

Ever since Frosty and I arrived in Cologne, Lina had been mentioning that she felt tired and nauseated. Add this to Atze frequently pointing out that Lina was late, all signs seemed to point to a possible pregnancy. Lina, however, attributed it on the extreme stress that she was experiencing as of late – which,  from my own experience, also seemed entirely possible.

After the shark movie, Atze began to go on and on about how cool it would be to become a papa. Meanwhile, Lina kept her mouth shut.

The night before, while Atze and Frosty went to pick up Conni and bring him back to the apartment, Lina and I had a little heart to heart. She asked me if stress really could be the reason why she was late. I told her yes, but that she also really couldn't rule out being pregnant. I asked her if she had taken a pregnancy test. She told me no, because she was too afraid.

The words that follow might sound crazy, but bear with me. Personally, I love pregnancy tests. Sure, I haven't always been so fond of some of the situations in which I've had to take them. I'm not a sexually irresponsible person (though some perhaps more conservative parties might beg to differ). It's just that I feel like (genetically-speaking?) I come from a line of seemingly ultra-fertile women. I'm talking about women who end up with twins despite the usage of birth control or who manage to conceive without infertility treatments despite a diagnosis stating that impossibility. Add to that the fact that stress does wreak havoc on my cycle, so I'd rather pee on a stick and wait a couple of minutes instead of wait nine months to see what happens.

While back at home in Oklahoma in 2007, I stocked up on a bunch of dollar store pregnancy tests. People laughed at me, but sometimes when I'm feeling kind of shitty...I'll just take a pregnancy test even if I haven't had sex in awhile. It's a real pick-me-up to know that even if everything else in my life is kind of crap...hey, at least I'm not pregnant.

But that's just me.

In the meantime, I tried to convince Lina that she should either take a test or go to the doctor.

“But what if I am pregnant?” she asked. “I can't have a baby now. I'm too young, I want to finish my education and Atze is too irresponsible to parent. I just don't want to have a baby right now.”

And here's what I explained to her:

I know what it's like to be stressed out. I know what it's like to (at the same time) think that you could be pregnant, adding to the existing stress. I know the extreme relief of taking a pregnancy test while you're stressed out and think you might be pregnant – but the test comes out negative.

Moreover, I know the extreme fear and panic that arises if that test comes out positive. However, in my case, I had/have a more than supportive and non-judgmental partner and friends – but, above all, access to reliable and unbiased information regarding ALL of my options. Lina had none of this and it broke my heart.

In the end, I told her that I believe it's better to know what she's facing in order to make the decision that's best for her. Not for her boyfriend, not for her family, not for anonymous third parties...but for her.

It was quiet for awhile...and shortly thereafter Frosty, Atze and Conni returned.

Cut back to the present. Atze was waxing poetic about his potentially impending fatherhood. Not only is he completely inconsiderate of his girlfriend's wishes, he is also completely misinformed ... about... well, everything ever.

Before long, Frosty ripped into him having grown more and more impatient with each syllable that passed through Atze's lips. Atze's immaturity, irresponsibility, lack of financial resources/high school diploma/job prospects, substance abuse and gambling problems were all laid out on the table. Not to mention the fact that he never once paid any mind to what Lina wanted.

I must say, I was very proud of my boyfriend at that moment.

Sadly, Atze remained oblivious to everything being said to him.

Finally, Frosty couldn't take any more of the asshattery. So the group split up. Atze, Lina and Conni went back to the apartment, while Frosty and I took a time out to vent and escape.

Plus, we had to go pick up Christine and Courtney from the train station and bring them to LF's apartment.


The Beech said...

Wow, this seems like a story about the greatest douch alive.
Bad thing that nothing will get to them, even friends telling them they're full of shit.
Hope you had some effect talking sense into her.

the conni-lude himself said...

fucking situation, ended with abortion...
but thats the best for both.
and now atze has a dog as compensation...
fucking dude, poor girl, poor dog