Skip to main content

Worse than a debt collection agency?

A slight interruption in the programming schedule.

I don't check my myspace page all too often anymore (maybe once a week, which much less than the frequency with which I check facebook *sigh*)

Well, today I did and I found the following message in my inbox from Zoe, my 9-year-old niece:

Hi Auntie!!!
How are you?
I hope to see you soon.....Oh and you owe me and Gabi $40.00!....So come see us soon because I want my money!!!!


Here's several reasons why I dug this approach:

1.) It caught me off guard. Apparently, in the almost 3 years since I've been away, the child has not only mastered writing, but also typing (not to mention usage of improper/unnecessary ellipses -- I'm feelin' that...)

2.) The opener: She wants to know how I'm doing. Awww, sweet.

3.) The subtle brown-nosing tactic: She wants to see me soon. Double awww, she misses her auntie!

4.) Then she gets straight to the point: In her mind, we have a long standing debt to settle. I'm assuming this was accumulated from past/missed birthdays and Christmas. 

5.) Lastly, she reminds me of the benefit of visiting back home (seeing my "sweet" nieces), while firmly restating the business matter at hand ("I want my money!")

This totally reminds me of the time where the collection agency handling my student loans called me up. And it's just as scary when hearing it from a child, despite the fact that the amount of money in question is far, far less. Gillian -- I think your daughter has found her calling. 

That said, get in line kid. I sent some treats from Germany (see Auntie Pickles) and that will have to tide you over for now. Plus, let's not get into how much money you owe me for MY services rendered (namely babysitting, diaper changing and mental anguish due to extreme exposure to Teletubbies and the like). 

How you like them apples?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

 Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me.  I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e   and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization.  I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e  had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday.  Mr. S: Ok. (Ac

The One Who Got Away (Part 5)

Pro tip: Don't estimate the amount of time it will take to review your citizenship application based on the amount of time it took to get the results of your citizenship test. So far, this has been the area of the German-side of the process that ran a little closer to my bureaucratic expectations, namely, if an official expresses a length of time -- e.g. 3-6 months -- things will start moving closer to the six month mark than the three month mark. Getting down to the wire, I was (and still am) slightly concerned that this would drag on and I would have to renew my U.S. passport first, since it's getting kinda close to the point where it's only valid for six months. This would have cost me 1.) more money 2.) plus a trip to a consulate that actually does shit for U.S. citizens 3.) money and time off work for a trip to Bremen, Berlin, or Frankfurt. As luck would have it, I finally received notification that the Germans are letting me in! The full term is that they are