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Friday, August 19, 2011

Angry Pomeranians

Quick post (because I told myself I'm gonna try to write some more of my b.s. on the reg)

People love dogs in Germany. Sure, there are cat lovers as well, but no one really takes their damn cat out in public to go to a meal at a restaurant. Mostly because your cat will lose all respect for you, if you were to do such a thing. And...long story short...dogs are dumb and don't give a fuck.

But German dogs, for the most part, ain't no joke. They are, on the whole, extremely well-behaved. So, on the occasions where I do run into a dog that is acting like an asshole, it ruins my day.

(Please note that the previous sentence does contain hyperbolic elements)

At any rate, I found myself in quite the dilemma on the way home from work this evening. I took my normal route from the U2 subway to my apartment and along the way I encountered two tiny-ass, angry Pomeranians (one looked like the one pictured above, the other was black).

These two little asshole dogs (seriously, they were total assholes) were following me down the street, bearing their teeth. One would distract me, while the other one circled around. It was like they were some goddamned velociraptors from Jurassic Park

Except little tiny Pomeranians...and not, you know, fucking dinosaurs or whatever.

I wish they had been larger animals. Mostly because it's pretty lame to be scared of teeny dog that I could pick up with one hand and drop into a waste bin. It's not so much that I'm scared, just mostly that I don't want to get bitten by a dog (no matter what its size). And if they were larger animals, I could justify doing something in self-defense.

Instead, I just kept looking around for their owner(s) and trying to walk away without causing a scene. But even as one of the Poms was closing in to try to bite my leg, the main thought going through went through my head was, "These dog are so poorly trained. Tsk. Tsk." But following right up on the heels of that was, "If one of these little fuckers bites me, I'm going to punt it into oblivion."

I really would have. Punting the dogs, I mean. If they had bitten me. They were really little though and since it was a residential area, the main thing stopping me was that there would probably be a lot of witnesses. Not the animals' welfare. Which, in turn, would have made me an asshole instead of these two asshole dogs.

Anyway, some woman (apparently their owner) called down to the dogs from her 4th floor apartment balcony (which made no damn sense to me, why she was up there and her shitty dogs were harassing me on the street).

It really didn't do anything stop them from snarling at me, but deep down inside I like to think they were a little bit grateful to hear a familiar voice calling from up above, watching over them...and ultimately paving the way for them to not get kicked in their stupid little Pomeranian faces.

1 comment:

Mofo from do said...