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Wednesday, April 11, 2012


German child-naming guidelines have always confused and perplexed me. There’s really only one guideline that sort of makes sense, namely that the name shouldn’t damage the child’s well-being by ridiculing/making the child seem ridiculous or by implying some kind of connection to “evil”. Wikipedia uses the names Judas and Kain as examples, which are actually cool-sounding as far as names go.

At any rate, the rest of those guidelines seem like a load of bullshit to me. You can’t give a child a name that might insult another person’s religious “sensibilities”?

It’s one of those things that we always be a bit foreign to me as a non-German. Most people think that my name is made up anyway. Schmiddy’s dad even once went so far as to say, “Raven? What kind of name is that? It’s like naming your kid ‘Fence’” — well the actual word used was Gartenzaun (garden fence or, I suppose more contemporarily, the ubiquitous #hashtag). At any rate, I actually don’t really have a problem with those words as names. Then again, if you ask pretty much any kid from OKC who went to grade school in the 80s/90s — there was totally a lady that named her kid Cocaine Motherfucker. True Story*

This brief snippet of an article does give me a teensy bit of hope.  Approved names at the top, rejected names at the bottom. I look forward to the expanding availability of names for babies in Germany.

*To date, the truthiness of this statement remains unconfirmed.


mofo from do said...

#, nice. I totally love that character. There's probably not a symbol that has more names:
- hash
- pound
- number sign
- bang
- sharp
- Kreutz
- Doppelkreutz
- Raute
- Lattenzaun
Did I forget anything?

Fuckin awesome. Ima call you that # Brooks!

lebrookski said...

you forgot it stands for tic tac toe and, thus, "ich find dich scheiße"

lolz, i'm so funny