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Saturday, June 01, 2013

Prepare yourselves

This week, I cleared the six-month, post-breakup hurdle that I set for myself. By "cleared" I mean, I had set a date (May 31st) last December and put it in my calendar and then, as the passage of time is wont to do, the date came and went. It's more symbolic than anything, because six months ago, May seemed impossibly far away and the hurt and self-doubt seemed so impossibly big. But here I am. In the time that's passed, I've realized that six-months is still just a drop in the bucket and I've still got a ways to go - I'll update on that at the end of the year - but the overall prognosis is good.

Currently, I'm still in the process of  Project Girl-Get-Yo-Shit-Together, which will be on-going (possibly till infinity), but bit-by-bit it's coming together. Project GGYST involves tackling all sorts of crap that I've been putting off for years for a variety of lame excuses and that I need to fucking saddle up and get it done. It also involves figuring out the things that I really want to do and then doing those things.

What are these vague things? Well, they run the gamut and I'll probably tackle some of them in future posts. So, you can look forward to that. I can't deny that the breakup was something of a catalyst, but maybe only peripherally or in that tragically amusing (hahahaha) way that ending a relationship gives you plenty of time for self-reflection.

Moving on...

Last weekend was great, I received a surprise visit from my good friend and parallel universe self, Supa D. It's insane to think that it's been over 5 years since we've last seen each other and maybe only slightly less time since we last spoke to each other. But those are the best kinds of friendships sometimes. Whenever you do meet up again, you just pick up where you left off.

With Supa D, there's the added bonus of seeing what could happen, if I chose a different option for a certain decision. It's sometimes scary how our lives mirror each other. For instance, I'm still trying to figure out how to decorate my apartment. Supa D is like, "I like to collect chairs. So, I will hang up chairs on my walls. I can literally tell people to take a seat." It also looks pretty dope.

That said, sometimes I think, "Well, no shit,  you're an artist and you're approaching situations with an artist's eye and from and artist's point of view." And then she's like, "No, I just use my people eyes and do whatever the fuck I feel like doing." I'm often worried about money, rent, and keeping my job *and* also about what I'd do with my time, if I didn't have to worry about money or a job. Supa D's like, "Fuck a full time job, I can find just about anything I need on freecycle or Ebay Kleinanzeigen and make the rest and do cool street art."

I don't want to necessarily make my own deodorant or haul free things from all over town to my apartment by bike. I love free stuff, but I want that free stuff to also be convenient and more or less fall into my lap. I'll be honest, though, there were a couple of moments where I was a bit envious. Less about the actually work that goes into doing all of that (work is so haaaaaard), but definitely about the balls that it takes to say, "Yes, I am embracing all of this."

So, yeah, Supa D swooped into town for a couple of days to catch up and drop knowledge, kind of like a foul-mouthed Magical Negro, except I don't know if black people can be Magical Negroes for other black people. I do know that on the night she arrived we talked about my friend Mo, who I also haven't talked to in about five years...and the *very* next day Mo rings me up on the phone, completely out of the blue. That's a pretty big cosmic coincidence. Boom, Magical Negro.

Also she taught me that I can do all sorts of crazy shit and if anyone tries to bother me about it, I can just tell them, "It's KUUUNST!" (Kunst = art, TMYK)

On top of all of that, she introduced me to Iron Blogger. Actually, she told me about Iron Blogger Berlin and told me to check out Iron Blogger Hamburg.

Over the past few years, I've mentioned over and over that I would start writing more (and more regularly). Iron Blogger is basically kind of a collective of bloggers (all sorts of topics). Anyone can join, but if you join, then you pledge to write at least one post per week. If you fail to write at least one post, then you have to pay 5€ into the pool. Once enough people have missed posting and have paid into the pool, then half of the collected funds go to a Hamburg charity and the other half used to go out drinking.

I've tried all sorts of methods to try to motivate me to write more (something that I actually want to do). And now I'll try the "You'll literally pay for it, if you don't" method.

So, hopefully, there will be a lot more for you to read soon. And if not, I'll be out drinking with random people that I met on the internet.

Stay tuned!

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