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Monday, October 28, 2013

This is not a f***ing food blog #1 (Pizza)

I was in Dresden for the past few days, which I'm going to use as my excuse for missing my post last week. To make up for the 5€ that I agreed to put in to the Iron Blogger pot for missed posts, I'll try to be extra good about writing this week.

The St. Jude storm is currently wreaking havoc through Northwestern Europe and I guess I managed to get home right before Hamburg traffic and public transportation went all to shit. Pretty glad that I wasn't caught in this crap up while in the office.

At any rate, after 4.5 hours in the train, I was pretty hungry and didn't want to go back out into the crazy-ass wind, so I had to make due with whatever leftovers I had in my fridge and pantry. So, I decided to make a pizza.

This will be the second day in a row that I made a whole homemade pizza by myself. Yesterday, I made one for me and C.Dub and it turned out surprisingly well. Trying it out again is kind of like tempting the fates, because I am not good at making dough. But, if it turns out even half as good as yesterday's pizza...then I shall add the process to my repertoire, "Cooking for the Extremely Lazy".

The thing about pizza is that I'm not a big fan of tomato sauce or cooked tomatoes (yeah, yeah...I know...sorry Anja). For years, I could really only eat white pizza (which is really just...cheese bread?). But, as I've gotten older, I don't have a problem if there's not just gobs of tomato sauce (or enough cheese to cover it up. Extra cheese on pizza is the culinary equivalent of dressing up in black -- it covers up all of the unsightly blemishes. A delicious optical illusion.

I know what some of you are thinking. Homemade pizza is like the banana bread of cooking. Super easy and hard to fuck up. And if you're thinking that, then...whatever. Fuck you. This isn't a fucking food blog.

Pizza pics after the jump:

Making pizza dough is kinda bullshit. Of course, you can go out and buy the pre-made stuff, but it's not like I love pizza so much that I just have a bunch of pre-made dough lying around. If you've got flour, yeast, salt, olive oil, water, and a shitload of patience (for kneading and waiting and crap like that) then you can whip something up.

Then you can just put whatever crap you have in your fridge or pantry on that muhfucka. As you can see, I did not have a can of corn. I do have 2 cans of kidney beans, but I don't want to fart my way into next Tuesday, thankyouverymuch. There are, however, a lot of mushrooms (sorry, Schmiddy) and a distinct lack of olives (because HAHA I fucking love olives and eat them almost immediately after buying them).

After that, the only thing left is to slap a bunch of cheese on that biatch. I'm hoping that the tomato sauce will be sufficiently covered up, but we'll see...

25 minutes later...

That'll do.


andre said...

Fuck, how did you know I was gonna comment on the fungus (let's call it mold) on your pizza?

lebrookski said...

I'm just that good.