Skip to main content

Becoming German #2: Generic Validation?



OMG, you guise! It's finally happened.

I'd heard about these letters from Hamburg's Erster Bürgermeister (literally: First Mayor). Yes, I know that "Bürgermeister" sounds like it should belong to Mayor McCheese and the ordinal number prefix makes it sound like there are infinite mayors of this city-state, but let's just gloss over all of that for the moment (and forever).

Basically, this is a form letter from Hamburg's mayor that is best summarized as, "Hey... gee, wouldn't it be totes awesome if you became German? You know... 'cause you've lived here so long and whatnot?" I'm not trying to take the piss or anything *puts on super serious face* the letter addresses the two biggest reasons why I'm even considering "the switch" -- 1.) being able to vote for things that I care about in the place that I live and 2.) never ever ever having to deal with the mofos at the immigration office ever again... ever. I feel very strongly about those two things.

However, as a I detailed at the beginning of the year, it's probably not going to be that easy... but mostly from the US side. Though, I'm not 100% sure about that...I'm like 92% sure of it. I should probably make an appointment for a citizenshipry consultation (I'm aware that's not a real term, but it's what I'm going to call it).

Four months ago, my friends Micky and Motu, my personal All-Things-German consultants, held a spontaneous lunchtime brainstorm to figure out how to game the system. Their idea was to establish myself as an invaluable figure in German culture. Alas, I'm not a poet or philosopher or rocket scientist or pope or soccer world champion or any type of athletic champion. Nor do I want to be. At the most, I could probably see myself on the Bundesdönerverzehrmannschaft (National Döner-eating Team), but that is (unfortunately) not a real thing. Don't get me wrong... it totally should be. But it's not.

Side note: I actually googled "competitive döner eating" and found this video. After watching it, I'm still pretty sure that C.Dub, could eat two giant haloumi dürüm from Dresden's Dürüm Kebap Haus at least that fast -- if not faster -- and wouldn't even look so "furious" while doing so. Not that she gives a fuck about competitive eating, but she'd be awesome at it.

Anyway, I guess it's nice to know that, eight years later, there are no hard feelings about all that legal razzmatazz, because in that time I've become either a female or male resident of Hamburg (Ha! Caught you red-handed with that form letter shit, Scholzi)

Still... thank you, First Master of the Citizens...

I just might have to take you up on that offer.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

 Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me.  I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).
3 comments
More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e   and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization.  I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e  had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday.  Mr. S: Ok. (Ac
Post a Comment
More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 5)

Pro tip: Don't estimate the amount of time it will take to review your citizenship application based on the amount of time it took to get the results of your citizenship test. So far, this has been the area of the German-side of the process that ran a little closer to my bureaucratic expectations, namely, if an official expresses a length of time -- e.g. 3-6 months -- things will start moving closer to the six month mark than the three month mark. Getting down to the wire, I was (and still am) slightly concerned that this would drag on and I would have to renew my U.S. passport first, since it's getting kinda close to the point where it's only valid for six months. This would have cost me 1.) more money 2.) plus a trip to a consulate that actually does shit for U.S. citizens 3.) money and time off work for a trip to Bremen, Berlin, or Frankfurt. As luck would have it, I finally received notification that the Germans are letting me in! The full term is that they are
Post a Comment
More crap »