Schmidt is almost done taking apart his cabinet and I want to see if I can finish this post before he does.
The two of us tend to wax philosophical about the most ridiculous things sometimes. Like, for instance, the similarities between the theme song to Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers (or Chip and Chap auf deutsch) and the theme song to MacGyver -- you know, the important stuff in life.
This evening we were at our new apartment finishing up the floor, when I had to take a quick potty break. When I came out, he asked, "Hey, why don't women ever put down the lid to the toilet seat?"
I looked at him questioningly, unsure if this was a test, riddle, accusation or rhetorical question of some sort. So I'm like, "What are you talking about, Schmidt?"
And he's like, "I've just noticed that women never seem to put down the lid to the toilet seat. I just think that if a lid is made for something, then it seems dumb not to use it."
"Ooookay...I still don't get where you're going with this. Are you trying to tell me something?"
"No, but you're a woman and you didn't put down the lid, so I thought you might know why."
"Oh. I don't know, dude. Why do you put the lid down?"
"So that stuff doesn't fall in. Duh."
"Oh. Ok. That's actually a really good reason, I guess. I never though of it that way. It kind of also explains why I know of quite a few women who are always dropping things in toilets. Like cell phones, for instance."
"So wouldn't it make sense to put the lid down, then?"
"I suppose. But I think when women put the lid down, it's mostly after taking a shit."
"But it's not like the lid is air tight."
"It's more of a symbolic gesture, I guess. You know...like a symbol...for taking a shit."
"That still doesn't make any sense."
"I know, I get what you're saying and your way totally makes sense. I completely validate your views concerning the lowering of toilet seat lids. I'll think about this everytime I go to the bathroom from now on. Just realize that I may not conform to this viewpoint of yours. I'm retarded, I know."
"No, you're not retarded, Brooks. It's just symbolic...like a symbol...for being dumb."
The two of us tend to wax philosophical about the most ridiculous things sometimes. Like, for instance, the similarities between the theme song to Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers (or Chip and Chap auf deutsch) and the theme song to MacGyver -- you know, the important stuff in life.
This evening we were at our new apartment finishing up the floor, when I had to take a quick potty break. When I came out, he asked, "Hey, why don't women ever put down the lid to the toilet seat?"
I looked at him questioningly, unsure if this was a test, riddle, accusation or rhetorical question of some sort. So I'm like, "What are you talking about, Schmidt?"
And he's like, "I've just noticed that women never seem to put down the lid to the toilet seat. I just think that if a lid is made for something, then it seems dumb not to use it."
"Ooookay...I still don't get where you're going with this. Are you trying to tell me something?"
"No, but you're a woman and you didn't put down the lid, so I thought you might know why."
"Oh. I don't know, dude. Why do you put the lid down?"
"So that stuff doesn't fall in. Duh."
"Oh. Ok. That's actually a really good reason, I guess. I never though of it that way. It kind of also explains why I know of quite a few women who are always dropping things in toilets. Like cell phones, for instance."
"So wouldn't it make sense to put the lid down, then?"
"I suppose. But I think when women put the lid down, it's mostly after taking a shit."
"But it's not like the lid is air tight."
"It's more of a symbolic gesture, I guess. You know...like a symbol...for taking a shit."
"That still doesn't make any sense."
"I know, I get what you're saying and your way totally makes sense. I completely validate your views concerning the lowering of toilet seat lids. I'll think about this everytime I go to the bathroom from now on. Just realize that I may not conform to this viewpoint of yours. I'm retarded, I know."
"No, you're not retarded, Brooks. It's just symbolic...like a symbol...for being dumb."
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