Skip to main content

The Best Part About Learning German

German Language Study Technique #257: Swallow a mouthful of mayo 
for every incorrectly conjugated verb. That'll learn you good.

Admittedly, my opinion regarding the German language is a little bit biased. I started learning the language about 20 years ago. It's probably also the one thing that I can say with confidence that I've stuck with for this long. It also helps that I've had multiple immersion opportunities. Which is why I'm sure I sound insane, when I tell brand new expats to Germany that learning German is awesome. I probably also sound insane, when I tell the same thing to native German speakers.

So what does mayonnaise have to do with learning German? Nothing. But also everything. You see, the best part about learning German is that after you've grasped the basic phonetic tenets of the language, you can read just about any word in the language. You might not understand what they mean, but you'll be able to pronounce them, more or less, regardless of extreme length or changes to EU policy for testing for mad cow disease.

Some native speakers still rip on me for some persistent pronunciation hiccups and there are all sorts of wacky loan words/brand names where you have to just make your best guess. However, if native speaker gets a little persnickety, you can just do what I do and ask them to say the word "squirrel". Afterwards, you can both share a hearty laugh of international friendship.

The spelling reform kind of made it a bitch to spell certain words (ironically, with the intent of making the language easier to learn), still...it's a lot better than shit like "colonel". If you're new to learning German, then it probably doesn't even apply to you anyway...unless you're using some old-ass books. So, really, there's nothing stopping you from starting to learn German today.

Except...maybe all of those other New Year's resolutions that you made. I'm not going to tell you how to prioritize your life.

Anyway, I bought this bottle of mayonnaise, because I wanted to make a tuna fish sandwich and was blessed with this alternate spelling that I'm sure has been around forever, but which I'm only seeing now for the first time.

So thank you, Majonäse (in particular) and German (in general), for showing me that some things can look crazy fucked up and still make perfect sense within the context.

 Side note #1: Hey, French, maybe you could take a page out of the book of "Pronouncing Words Exactly How They're Spelled". Maybe we'd have avoided the whole aforementioned "colonel" thing. Or even the proper spelling of "mayonnaise" which has like 10 different pronunciations in English and all sorts of superfluous letters.

Side Note #2: Don't think you get off that easy, English. You're probably the worst of them all.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

 Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me.  I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).
3 comments
More crap »

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e   and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization.  I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e  had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday....
Post a Comment
More crap »

Saturday Night Videos 5

Lately I've taken to supporting artists via crowd-sourcing sites and the like. I recently touched on that a bit in the last show regarding Chali 2na's Against the Current project. Personally, I think it's an easy/convenient way to support indie artists -- particularly, if you like good music and if you're kinda low on funds yourself. Sometimes there a (reasonable) minimum donation amount to get some new music. Sometimes it's a "pay what you can/want". A few months ago, while perusing The A.V. Club, I read about Rhymesayer artist P.O.S. and how he had to cancel a tour due to medical issues - specifically, because he needs a kidney transplant . Then later - via Facebook posts from other artists - I found out about the fundraiser set up to raise money for his transplant and medical bills. If there's one thing that I learned while living with my ex-ex-ex-roommate, it's that musicians can often be pretty fucked when it comes to medical emergencies. A...
Post a Comment
More crap »