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"I love bullets, bitch!"



My dad subscribes to a bunch of outdoor-gear catalogs and at least 3 separate gun-related publications. There's Guns & Ammo (of course), Shooting Times and American Rifleman (the official journal of the National Rifle Association). You should have been there the day he got his autographed Charlton Heston bullet from the NRA -- it was a big deal.






"Ok, everybody, smile and say 'We like black people'!"


And when they say "freedom," I think they mean guns. Grade A, First Class comedy right there. However, this isn't a diatribe about whether I'm for or against gun ownership. It's mostly about the big bundle of contradictions that I call "Dad".

On the surface, he kinda looks like the old dude in the picture above... except less like a tool. In fact, I think he kind of bears a striking resemblance to Walter from The Big Lebowski.





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Papa BrooksWalter


However, inside of this man -- with a penchant for wearing aviator sunglasses and hunting vests, a love of pickup trucks and a good ol' boy Okie accent -- lurks the soul of a man with an appreciation for the brown ladies.

Daddy, I seent you watchin that 106 and Park on BET. Don't front like you don't...just come out and admit it already!

It's just funny to me how these two different personalities can inhabit the same body.

Anyway, I think if there were a magazine that catered to men like my father, it might look something like this:

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That'd actually be pretty tight though. Raw...like life, son!

Oh, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills sometimes.

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