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Monday, September 26, 2005

Meet the Brookses Part 1

"Got an 'S' on my chest, I'm this bitch's hero...I see through her panties..."
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Not much news to report this weekend. Stuff got did...I listened to a lot of Jill Scott...and that's about it.

This weekend, I managed to cross off the last item on my imaginary list of "Foods that I missed while living in Germany". I say "imaginary" because the list really only exists in my head. Anyway, I guess this finally means that "I'm home" now. Thanks, ribs.

I've been a little bit sad ever since I found out that my little brother won't be able to visit OKC, due to his debit card being stolen by some assdouche in New Mexico. The debit card has been recovered, yet the hole in my heart remains...

It's hard to find the words to explain just why I love to kick it with my brother. So, I conducted a little y'all can get to know and love him too.

Raven: Tell everyone what it's like being in our family, in 50 words or less (preferably less)

Remington: Rock/Family/Hard Place

Rave: What's it like being a twin?

Rem: Being a twin is kinda weird, especially since my twin is a girl. As much as it pains me to say this, Cristal and I actually think a lot alike the only difference is that my decisions involve less bitchmade-ness

Rave: By the by, what the hell is up with yo crazy-ass twin?

Rem: Cristal thinks she's black...and that about sums it up.

Rave: How's your facial hair situation at the moment?

Rem: I'm content with my facial hair (or lack thereof...which is cool with me). That's just one less thing I have to worry about in the morning. Shit, shave, shower...excluding the shave part.

Rave: Have you come up with a new T-shirt slogan lately?

Rem: I've been workin on a new one, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. The back will say, "Fuck it, if you can't take a joke". It's like this new thing we do. For example, this one night we had to kick Jab's ass, cause he likes to get belligerent when he's drunk. The next day he was complaining about all these bruises he got and whoopty whoop whoop, so I threw him some Vagisil and told him, "Fuck it, if you can't take a joke."

Rave: Carlos Mencia is an I right or what?

Rem: I couldn't really say, I mean I see Mexicans all day so when I come home I'm kinda in a "Mexican't Zone", so I haven't seen the show but let the Mexicans tell it to me.

Rave: Seriously though: Whitey. How much do you hate him?

Rem: Whitey's cool with me...well 50% cool with me. I'm in New Mexico so it's the Mexicans and drunk indians I got to worry about.

Robbyn: Where do you get those wonderful toys?

Rem: I'm Batman, bitch.

Rave: Are you prepared to make a statement on the topic of "ho degradation"?

Rem: I'm prepared to make many statements: Ho, skank, trick, bitch, chickenhead, scallywag, skeeza...

Rave: Define the term "brazy" and use it in a sentence.

Rem: Brazy simply means crazy. If you've ever been around bangers, bloods have this thing they do where they replace any word starting with C with a B, hence, "brazy". Example: "Them Laos Brew niggas is brazy...awha blah-hud!"

Rave: Who gets the most play in the 4PN Crew?

Rem: I would have to say Olatunde, mainly because that nigga's grimey and him and his penis are like this, son!

Rave: Would you rather get your hair relaxed or let your Soul-Glo?

Rem: I would have to go relaxed, cause that's me baby

Rave: What did you want to be when you grew up? Top three choices.

Rem: Pilot, Policeman, NBA player

Rave: What made you change your mind about those things?

Rem: Weed.

Rave: Is there anything you can't do that you wish you could do?

Rem: I would have sex all day, watch Zoolander 50 times, and take a shit in a movie theater and wait for someone to sit in it, that's funny to me.

Rave: We should be roommates at some point in our lives. How do you honestly feel
about that statement (coming from me...Raven)?

Rem: I've thought about that before and I think there would be a lot of drunk and/or high times where things would randomly happen and that's what life is all about. Well, not "all about", but pretty damn close.

Rave: Recommend one or more products, songs, movies, or shows that everyone should
use, listen to, or watch. Mix n' match if you want to.

Rem: I gotsta recommend the iPod Shuffle, that's hot fyah...and that new Slim Thug, the beats are mothafuckin tizzight.

Rave: Lastly, reminisce a bit about your fondest Rave & Rem moment:

Rem: I remember making up these games we used to play like "Bally Ballersons" and, my personal favorite, "Slappy Slappersons". Bally Ballersons is basically dodgeball, but instead of throwing the ball at another person you just toss it in the ceiling fan and then try to dodge the ricochet. Then there was Slappy Slappersons. This is just a variation of the game "Slaps".

Now this is where it gets interesting: instead of facing your opponent, you sit right next to them and the objective is to touch the person's leg before they can slap your hand. The fun part is that if you miss the person's hand when they try to touch your leg, you end up hitting yourself. Raven is sucktacular at this game she just ends up hitting herself the whole time.

Rave, I know that wouldn't make your Fondest Moments List, but that shit was funny to me.

Rave: Thanks for taking the time during your busy work schedule to participate in this interview.

Coming up later, is Remington's interview of me. Also, stay tuned for periodical interviews with members of my family.

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