"Stay in drugs, don't do school"

*Mmmmkay?*

Ok, by some strange, cosmic coincidence...a bootleg copy of the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin briefly passed through my humble abode.

It was highly entertaining, but that's not the focus of this post.

This is:

*'Hooked on Phonics' at work*

I know the person who wrote the words "40 Yard Virgan" on that DVD. And I shake my head in their direction. On the real, though, I can't clown too much, because the circumstances surrounding their lack of education are complicated and involve a level of personal sacrifice that most people I know would be incapable of giving.

Still, seeing this DVD brought back some memories of a very emotional argument that I had with this particular person about a month ago. An argument which took place in a car that I was driving, reached its peak when I was told "Basi-cally, I'm a dangerous person. I pull guns and knives on people and if a bitch is disrespecting me, I'll hit her" ... and ended with me screaming (among other things) "Jesus, shut the fuck up...fuck you, you ignorant motherfucker!" etc. An angry silence ensued until we reached our destination.

Upon reflection, a moving vehicle under my operation was probably not the wisest place for this kind of argument.

Anyway, I think of the "40 Yard Virgan" and it just takes some of the edge off. Kinda. I mean, I still wouldn't want to make a regular habit of kicking it with this person...and I most certainly don't want to be on the receiving end of one of their "lessons in respect." But it's kinda like, "Wow...dude, you're barely literate...and that's pretty sad..."

I guess it's a pretty good motivation to not be a total fuck up.

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The Best Taco Bell in Germany

Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me. I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

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The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization. I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday. Mr. S: Ok. (Ac

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The One Who Got Away (Part 5)

Pro tip: Don't estimate the amount of time it will take to review your citizenship application based on the amount of time it took to get the results of your citizenship test. So far, this has been the area of the German-side of the process that ran a little closer to my bureaucratic expectations, namely, if an official expresses a length of time -- e.g. 3-6 months -- things will start moving closer to the six month mark than the three month mark. Getting down to the wire, I was (and still am) slightly concerned that this would drag on and I would have to renew my U.S. passport first, since it's getting kinda close to the point where it's only valid for six months. This would have cost me 1.) more money 2.) plus a trip to a consulate that actually does shit for U.S. citizens 3.) money and time off work for a trip to Bremen, Berlin, or Frankfurt. As luck would have it, I finally received notification that the Germans are letting me in! The full term is that they are

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If it's not Raven, it's crap...

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