I love you like a rap kid loves breaks...

Remy: I remember that night we were already pretty saucy and we didn't keep the phone close enough

It's snowing, blech...

The best news of the day, courtesy of WWTDD.com. I don't care if it's only four new episodes, taped months ago...I need you Dave, for I cannot subsist on [adult swim] alone. To quote the aforementioned website, "I don't care if they air a live feed of kids with cancer getting chemo, it will still be more hilarious than Mind of Mencia".

The second best news of the day is the most recent installment of late night answering machine antics that go on at my house. You may remember the first time my brother and his best friend Olatunde freestyled into the answering machine in the wee hours of the morning. Well, they did it again a few weeks ago. In fact, it happened to be the day after Thanksgiving and I accidentally caught them in the act, because I forgot to turn off the ringer on the phone in my room, but I hung up and let them go at it again.

The result was three messages, about nine minutes total, and some rearranging and splicing out of inaudible bits, I'm pretty amused with the results (all 4 minutes and 13 seconds). I think Remy will be too. And as long as that's the case, I'm happy. So without further ado...

Laos Crew - Used to be the shit

Note #1: You can find the lyrics below (well, the lyrics as I have interpreted them)


Friday 5:49am

Tunde:
Cocktails, when I was up in the Navy
When you see my cock, you see a lady

Remy:
(Wait til you see my cock...tail.. *laugh*)

Tunde:
Ok, when you see the cocktail without a drink
Cocktails that I never have to blink

Remy:
Wait til you see my cock

Tunde:
Wait til you see Mr. Spock.
Wait til you see the flock
Wait til your panties drop
Wait til you see the cock

Friday 5:56am

Tunde:
Used to be the shit, but now they're shih tzu
Used to be the shit, but now the shit's through
Used to have no sense, but now I'm sensei
Used to be Ola, but now I'm Tunde
Tried to take the bar, but drank some Bacardi
Bought a motorcycle, but it was a Harley
I'm not hardly the best, but shit's up off my chest
Take off your fucking breast and the silicon
in the fucking valley, hold on
fuck a chick in the alley
and when I be bowling you know
that I be strollin, but not with no baby
My eye is kinda lazy
but they has got me crazy,
but you know that's when I stop a bitch
If I could I don't stop, but I top a bitch,

Remy:
Used to be the, used to be the, used to be the
Used to be the shit, but now they're shih tzu
Used to be the shit, but now the shit's through
Used to be the shit, but now I ginsu
'Bout to slice you and fuckin dice you

Tunde:
I come through and I'm on the rage
I come through I never fumble
I got the royal like rumble
I got the feta cheese, so you know I'm gonna crumble
I use visine, niggas is tryin to try me
It's no good, you know that this shit's kinda

Remy:
Slimy

Tunde:
I just want you to know, what I speak is more than rhymes
When I feel it's more than a crime

Remy:
Cause I'm high
Oh cause you know...the... life of the wife is ended by the knife
*laugh*

Tunde:
Without the butter, feels so good
these words we have to utter
we just do our freestyle for a mile
it's so good,
you know we got no liters
but we got gal-lons
I bring my shit by the ton - day
hold on, I add the Ola, now I'm Tunde
wake up on a Sunday, never go to church
not a first, so I don't perch on no....perch

Remy:
Used to be the shit, but now they're shih tzu
Used to be the shit, but now your shit's through
used to..
Oh I got the ghetto blues,
The only remedy seems to be a couple of brews
The boys in the Crew I thought you fuckin knew

Tunde:
Ey yo, they used to be the shit, but now they're shih tzu
Used to be the shit, but now the shit's through
Used to have no sense, but now I'm sensei
See, I came in this bitch to rock the partay
Dudes used to be kinda hot,
Now in 2005 them dudes is really not
They used to fuck a lot of twat
Now they fuck themselves
Now they find their dicks on the shelves
library
yes cause they be history
these niggas right next to me
can see the future
if I could, yes change the past
if I could, we'd break our shit
now in a cast
cause they used to be the shit, but now they're shih tzu
Used to be the shit, but now the shit's through
Used to have no sense, but now I'm sigga-sensei
we came in this bitch to rock the par - BEEP

Note#2: The lyrics fit much better over the instrumental for Common's "The Corners", but I think the "World Famous" instrumental really captures the essence of the overall atmosphere.