Social Icons


Saturday, March 18, 2006

Holy shit

You know what they say about a messiah with big feet? That's right, he wears big roller skates.
Image hosting by Photobucket

It probably wouldn't come as much of a shock to anyone if I said that there are a whole hell of a lot of churches in Oklahoma City. Like right off the top of my head I can think of at least ten within a two-mile radius of my house.

There very well could be a lot more than that, because contrary to the commonly-held local belief, Oklahoma is not "The Buckle of the Bible Belt". If anything, Oklahoma is the "Extra Notch on the Bible Belt (Like the Kind One Must Bore After a Particularly Gluttonous Holiday Season)"...that should give you a rough idea as to the number of houses of worship we have. Soooo many.

Still, you'd be wrong to think that it's the sheer number that I find off-putting. For I, too, have dabbled in the ways of religion (believe it or not)

Yes, growing up I spent loads of time going to church. Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, Wednesday night service, Thursday night choir practice, Friday night youth I forgetting something? Oh yeah, and my mom used to drag our asses out of bed at about 5am every day, until I was about 13-years-old, so that we could pray and read the bible before school. Am I bitter about this? Not at all, actually. Oddly enough (or not), I probably wouldn't be the person that I am today if I hadn't done all that stuff...

But I digress. Like I said, I don't really care that there are all these churches here. What I find considerably more interesting is where these churches can be found -- not so much in the geographical sense, but in the like architectural sense. It's like anything can be a church (and sometimes vice versa).

For example, the church I went to as a kid is now a used-car lot and the Wal-Mart I used to shop at a few years now a church. If a business shuts down, there's a good chance that a building-less congregation will soon be occupying the space.

Case-in-point: while I was out and about a few weeks ago, I noticed (with sadness in my heart) that my friendly neighborhood roller rink, Fun Skate, had finally given up the ghost. Mind you, I hadn't set foot in the place since I was like in the fifth grade, but back in the day...that was the place to see and be seen.

Not to mention the chance to show off your "moves" the time I got a strawberry soda at the snack bar (wearing skates) and proceeded to slip and fall flat on my face (covering myself in red soda), then while trying to get up, I fell flat on my ass, back into the soda...I called that move "The I-Didn't-Want-Friends-Anyway".

In the last 10 years, business had steadily declined and you'd see maybe 3 or 4 cars in the parking lot on a good day. I blame rollerblades for some reason. The end was kind of inevitable, I suppose.

Still, a few days ago, I was amused to see that (you guessed it) a church will be moving into the building in the near future. Of course, they'll probably cover up the rink and move in some chairs and shit...but...I mean, what if they didn't? I have to admit...that would kinda be cool.

They could set up the preacher's pulpit in the DJ booth and the people could just free skate and get some Jesus before heading off to Luby's. I mean it wouldn't be for everyone, but it'd be freaking entertaining. Especially if the preacher were to say something like,

"Can I get an amen? Now, everyone bow your heads and close your's time for the backwards skate."
Image hosting by Photobucket


It could very well happen, too. Since I'm not sure, but I think the people moving in there are the same people who hold their church services on Sunday mornings at the AMC movie theater in Quail Springs Mall. I could be wrong, but if I am...I don't wanna be right.

No comments: