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Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Bootleg Man

If I had made this sign, I would have made the O's in 'LOOK' into eyes.
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That's the notice that can be found on the front door to my brother Darron's house. It's there because he lives in a shitty Section 8 housing neighborhood where the streets are very narrow and the mailboxes are placed perfectly across from the driveway of the person on the opposite side of the street. You know, they're the type of mailboxes on the posts, with those little flag thingies that go up and that the mail carrier doesn't actually have to leave the truck to deliver anything. At any one time, Darron's 2-car driveway can have anywhere from 2 to 10 vehicles squeezed on to it. The mailbox across the street is like permanently at a 130 degree angle. The sign doesn't really help...

And yes, I hit that damn mailbox once, too. I was looking behind me and you'd be surprised at how much the bed of a pickup truck obstructs the view of objects behind you. Don't worry though, my brother appeased his neighbor across the street with marijuana wrapped in tobacco leaves -- commonly called a "blunt". After all, that's what big brothers are for, right?

Apparently, little sisters are there to fix piece of shit computers so that older brothers can keep their DVD bootlegging operations up and running...


Darron is like the king of getting free/cheap stuff (like computers, stereos, cars, above-ground swimming name a few things). One time I was over there and he had a box of crumbly, dry donuts that he kept offering me because he's got a "donut hookup".

Courtesy of Robbyn's camera phone
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What he often fails to realize is that there's a reason why something things are free and/or cheap and that is because they are crappy and/or useless.

Sure, it's halfway in the living room and the kitchen, where there aren't even chairs for the dining room table, but hey, free pool table, right?! Mmmmmm, I loves me some Mad Dog 20/20, mayne!!
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Anyway, I spent the better part of my "weekend" getting Darron's little operation up and running after some technical glitches shut him down for about a week. Luckily, his house is a very welcoming place, filled with what he likes to call "good karma". Apparently, lots of incense, an abundance of alcohol and the wacky tobaccy = good karma.

Some people have umbrella stands by their front door, my brother has a basket full of hard liquor. Actually, that's not really liquor in those's like tea or something...which makes it even sadder. And the price stickers on the bottles...*muah* a touch of class.
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At the end of the day, I'm still pretty hesitant about accepting monetary compensation from my brother for my "tech support" services. Mostly because his ass is way broke despite his hustling efforts, but also because I don't want to get tangled up in his WEB OF DECEIT (notice the caps for effect).

Also, I'm much too proud to be associated with a subpar end-product:

So derrty
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