Skip to main content

I've infiltrated ur family and I'm stealin' ur parentz



Happy Birthday, Andre!



Yet another friend of mine has joined the "Late-20s" Club...and not just any friend, but one of my bestest friends...my Non-Sensual Existence Companion...and I said it before and I'll say it again, chil'rens...the Turk to my JD. I wish him the best a man can get*.

To celebrate the occasion, Andre's dad (Papa Schmidt) came up from Dortmund this weekend. I love this guy. He reminds me of my own pops, minus the heavy artillery. I vote that we invite him to Hamburg for Christmas Taco Time**.

Papa Schmidt gave me a bunch of ADAC (German AAA) maps of the United States. Why?! No friggin clue, but it was so cute***. When he spoke to me, he always made sure that enunciated his words ve-ry clear-ly.

Last but not least, this evening he provided me with the most hilarious commentary on American child-naming practices that I've ever heard:

Papa S: So your name -- Raven -- does it have a particular meaning?
Me: Well, in German it's der Rabe.
Papa S: No, I mean aside from that...
Me: (looking clueless)
Papa S: I was just wondering if there was another meaning. I mean in Germany, people aren't named after objects or places or animals like that. The Standesamt (registry office) wouldn't allow it. It's like if I were to give my child the name Gartenzaun (garden fence) or Knopf (button). Or a city...like Dortmund.

It was precious, really, even though I didn't mention that there's gotta be at least a few unfortunate souls in the U.S. with the name Button or Buttons...

and we didn't even get around to debating his son's "3rd first name".

------------------
*= That's right...more cowbell
**= This suggestion was vetoed before I even hit 'Publish Post'
***= Seriously, how did Papa Schmidt know that I used to collect (National Geographic) maps? I really did, I shit you not.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Taco Bell in Germany

 Last weekend, I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. I went to Taco Bell in Germany. "But Raven, shouldn't you aspire to better, healthier things that have a measurable positive impact on society?" I know that's what you're thinking, but I don't really give a crap... because you are not the boss of me.  I wanted Taco Bell, because it's probably the one thing from back at home that I crave the most. Say what you want about it (again, I don't give a crap), but get at me when you've spent years away from your homeland and are unable to acquire whatever nasty-ass comfort food is available wherever you're from. For me, my nasty-ass comfort food of choice is Taco Bell...with Sonic a close second. However, you can't even find Sonic all over the U.S. and I don't find myself craving burgers and hot dogs all the time (plus, those urges are a lot easier to satisfy than a craving for Mexican or Tex-mex).

The One Who Got Away (Part 6): PLOT TWIST

Quick Translation: This confirms that German citizenship will not be opposed, if within two years it can be verified that the aforementioned person no longer possesses citizenship for Trinidad and Tobago e   and/or has fulfilled the requirements for the loss of this citizenship and that nothing has happened in the meantime, which would forbid naturalization.  I almost forgot what it felt like to receive a industrial size dose of 100% homegrown German bureaucratic pedantry. Luckily, the German authorities will never leave you too long without a fix. You can count on that. As you can see from the picture above (and from my previous posts), Trinidad and Tobago e  had only been mentioned once in passing up until now, when I finalized my application and paid the fee. Mr. S: Your mother was naturalized in the U.S. after you were born? Me: Yes, but she never applied for Trinidadian citizenship for me, which would have had to have been done by my 18th birthday.  Mr. S: Ok. (Ac

The One Who Got Away (Part 5)

Pro tip: Don't estimate the amount of time it will take to review your citizenship application based on the amount of time it took to get the results of your citizenship test. So far, this has been the area of the German-side of the process that ran a little closer to my bureaucratic expectations, namely, if an official expresses a length of time -- e.g. 3-6 months -- things will start moving closer to the six month mark than the three month mark. Getting down to the wire, I was (and still am) slightly concerned that this would drag on and I would have to renew my U.S. passport first, since it's getting kinda close to the point where it's only valid for six months. This would have cost me 1.) more money 2.) plus a trip to a consulate that actually does shit for U.S. citizens 3.) money and time off work for a trip to Bremen, Berlin, or Frankfurt. As luck would have it, I finally received notification that the Germans are letting me in! The full term is that they are