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Saturday, December 30, 2006

My neighbors

The Gossipy, Slightly Racist Single Mom (GSRSM) - She lives on the ground floor, her bedroom window is right next to the entrance to the building. She knows everything that's going on in the house. Why? Well, besides the fact that she's boinking the Hausmeister (the building super), she doesn't really have a life outside of her part-time discount retail job. So her favorite topics of discussion are building gossip and how foreigners need to learn how to speak German if they are going to live in Germany. The latter conversation is always prefaced with "Of course, you know I have nothing against foreigners, but...". One time I was grocery shopping at Lidl and we ran into each other. By the time I got home, Seven knew exactly what I had purchased.

The Filipino Family - They're on the first floor. Rumor has it that a bunch of people are living in this apartment. I've only seen two and they pretty much keep to themselves. Of course, I have nothing against filipinos, but GSRSM says they really should learn how to speak German.

The Other Single Mom - Also on the first floor. She doesn't have to work, so mostly she just bangs Blond Dude who lives on the floor above her. She also keeps to herself, unless we're making too much noise.

Blond Dude and American Guy - They live together on the second floor. The Blond Dude was an exchange student in the US met American Guy, now he's doing some kind of Ausbildung (training). American Guy decided to pick up and move to Germany, where he teaches English illegally. The two of them were going to move out of the building, but might not anymore, since Blond Dude knocked up The Other Single Mom.

The Hot Cop - He just moved in about a month ago and he's not home a lot. However, he is quite attractive and a police officer and doesn't own a pizza cutter, so sometimes he comes upstairs to borrow ours. Having a cop in the building makes The Man Upstairs very nervous.

The Pastor - No one lives in the apartment across from ours. However, the previous tenant was apparently some kind of "pastor" who let a whole bunch of "undocumented africans" live in the apartment. All that's left now is a "Thank you, Jesus" sticker on the door.

The Man Upstairs - Is Seven's business partner. He's got the whole top floor of the building (which consists of two smaller apartments: one for living in and one for working). He smokes copious amounts of the ganj, which explains his paranoia in regards to the police officer who lives two floors down from him.

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