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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Not just "a" local weatherman, he's "THE" local weatherman

I was surprised and a little bit amused to find a clip of this spot for Oklahoma City's favorite primetime television show interrupter, Gary England. He's the News 9 (our local CBS affiliate) head meteorologist and local legend. The website where I found this clip described it as a, "A ridiculously over-the-top promo for a local news weatherman." Ridiculous? Yes. Over the top? Hell yes. But they make it sound like ol' Gary is just some kind of two-bit hack, when he is, in fact, the only weather man that I know of with his own drinking game. Not to mention Wikipedia entry.

Lemme tell you something else, when Gary does finally kick the bucket -- and he is kinda getting up there in age -- there will be flags at half mast in Oklahoma and the kids might just even get the day off from school. Sorry, Mike Morgan, you got a long way to go to get that kind of recognition. And dude from Channel 5...I don't even know what the hell your name is.

But man, that commercial is bananas! I think the reactions are all wrong though.

Your very first reaction after hearing the tornado advisory warnings on the TV is to go, "Awww fuck, Gary! I was watching CSI!"

Then, he'll say that you're not missing any of your program and they'll put up a little tiny square in the corner, but there's no sound for the show, just the weatherman yappin away with the storm chasers.

Then, you get up and go and stand on the front porch and go, "Dude, the sky isn't even green yet and there's no hail at all. We got plenty of time."

Eventually, the program will resume, but you've got a Doppler radar map up in the corner of the screen and the names of the counties with the tornado warnings scrolling down at the bottom of the screen.

At some point you're gonna hear rain, then big ass chunks of hail. So, you'll go to the porch again to check it out for a bit, then go back to the TV and raise up the volume to drown out the noise and during the commercial breaks get a flashlight, a radio and start clearing out a hallway closet (I know surprisingly few people with underground tornado shelters).

Once you hear the tornado sirens, get ready for the possibility of the power going out and get ready to set up shop in the aforementioned closet and turn on the radio.

Now, if you replace that line near the end of the commercial "Just listen to Gary England and we'll be ok!" with "Ohmygod! I just wanted to see how CSI ends!!! Ahhhh!!!" -- the mother with the kid, same reaction just different words -- then you kinda understand what it's like during tornado season in Oklahoma.

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