 |
Schmidt had asked me to pick up his specially-ordered samurai statue and since I'm such an awesome and nice person -- and because the place where he ordered it is pretty close to where I work -- I agreed. If someone asks me to "pick something up" on my way home...I generally assume that it is something that I can physically pick up. The aforementioned statue, however, was about 50lbs of dusty rock encased in a wooden-type crate thingy. Needless to say, I was somewhat surprised by this fact. When the sales guy asked me if I was going to carry it out as is...I sighed and replied, "Well, I don't really have another choice, do I?"
Thus, began the journey back to the bus stop while lugging this thing. Mind you, the statue is about thigh high...and fucking heavy. Halfway to the bus stop, I called Schmidt from my cell and told him that I would get in a bus with his samurai and ride to the Altona train station; but, he would have to meet me at Altona because I refused to carry it any further... and now it's in his room. So, you can see how that story ended.
(Click Below for More)
Earlier that day (Friday) I was accosted by a moth while showering. Now, I'm not afraid of moths, like I am with spiders or bees/wasps/etc. It's more that I'm afraid of sudden movements out of the corner of my eye. This can probably be attributed to years of psychological torture experienced at the hands of my siblings. One moment I'd be minding my own business, the next I'd hear the words "Think fast!" only to look up and be smacked in the face with some flying object. No chance to react. So, I just conditioned myself to defensively raise my hands to protect my head, which is now how I react to just about any sudden movement. I'd invite you to try it out on me...but don't...please...
Anyway, my fear of sudden movement combined with my piss poor eyesight makes a small, unscary moth look like a giant freaking bat...or similar large flying blob.
So, it was early, I was tired and trying to wake myself up by showering the tiredness away...when all of a sudden, I see a large flying blob coming at me in the corner of my eye. I shrieked and flailed my arms in a wild manner, as that's really the only way I know how to express myself at such an hour and under such unexpected circumstances. For a moment, I lost my footing (thanks soap) and began slipping and sliding around the bathtub. Shortly thereafter, I decided that was enough action for one shower, turned off the water and climbed out of the tub. I wrapped my towel around myself and exited the bathroom, only to run into Schmidt, who said, "Hey, good morning..."
I replied -- still flustered from the previous attack and still not quite awake -- "Schmidt! A moth just attacked me in the shower! Go forth my evil minion and destroy it!"
"What?!"
"Moth.Attack.Destroy!!!"
And I tramped to my room, leaving him fully confused, I think.
While getting dressed, I realized that if someone were trying to destroy me, the shower would be the optimal place to do so. That's where I'm most vulnerable -- what with the whole bad eyesight and slippery surfaces and my whole tendency of showering in the nude. Yup...that's gonna be my downfall, I think.
Saturday, we had our apartment-warming party. It was pretty great. I baked some delicious cookies, made some delicious guacamole and my very first pasta salad...ever. We got some nice stuff. A blender, some art, flowers, salt and pepper grinders, placemats and chopsticks, a cutting board, salt and bread...etc.
Schmidt leaves for Toulouse in about three hours from now (4am). We have two crates of beer left, a half bottle of gin, and two bottles of red wine.
Our guests broke a few of our glasses (including my pirate shot glass) and a couple of beer bottles. I cut my toe on this broken glass while cleaning up this morning. Thanks assholes. Supa D and NJB (Nice Jewish Boy) made the trek from Berlin -- Five Colleges, represent!
All in all...good times...
No comments:
Post a Comment