This is what it sounds like when tomatoes cry...

Reel Big Fish - Say 'Ten'

So, I hit a snag this weekend while trying to figure out how to formulate this post. I wanted to write about The Boy, but I no longer want to actually refer to him as The Boy. It just sounds kind of lame and a little more than a tad patronizing. On the other hand, I don't quite feel comfortable with calling him "The Man", nor do I want to refer to him as T.B. -- because well, you know, though love and such can be likened to something like a horrible infectious disease -- it's not something you just wanna put out there like that.

Not to mention the fact that I've sort of already established him as The Boy. See my problem? You just can't go switching up nicknames like that. But that's precisely what I'm about to do. Henceforth, The Boy will now be referred to as Frosty...you know, like the snowman...anyway, I'll maybe give you all a few reminders so you can get used to the change.

Now...let's get down to bidness...

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A few weeks ago, Frosty and I were having a little phone conversation, when he mentioned that he was seriously considering becoming vegetarian. This didn't take me by surprise all too much, since 1.) his mom is vegetarian and it's probably something genetic ;-) 2.) he'd brought up the subject before and 3.) he never really seemed to be all that committed to meat in the first place. Which, don't get me wrong, is fine and good by me. I realize that not everyone is cut out for meat.

It became quite apparent to me that Frosty probably wasn't as much of a fan of meat as I am when he said something along the lines of a piece of toast dipped in blood tastes just like a steak. I mean, in a blind taste test, I probably can't distinguish the taste of Coca-Cola from Pepsi -- but I'll be damned if someone can fool me into thinking that some blood soaked toast tastes like a steak. And if you're a person who can't tell the difference, then by all means...just please, for Christ's sake...Don't. Eat. Meat. It's not just not gonna work out for you. That's ok.

But then, Frosty continued, casually mentioning that all of this was the first preliminary step to his Ultimate Vegan Plan. He had some pretty good moral reasons to back up his decision.

Being the supportive, open-minded and caring girlfriend that I am, I was like, "Dude...if you become vegan, I might have to re-think this relationship."

Yes. It probably not the smoothest move. And yes, maybe I didn't think about the words I said before I said them. But really, I don't even have anything against vegans. For real. I mean, I went to Smith College and they've got a whole dining halls that exclusively serve vegetarian/vegan meals. Those vegan nuggets were pretty ok and...I've tasted about a bajillion different recipes for vegan brownies. No, they're not as good as regular brownies, but dammit...that's the first thing that a vegan is gonna tell you: "Oh my God! I've got this awesome recipe for vegan brownies!!" And at best, they're...ok

His moral reasons don't bother me at all. In fact, I find it quite noble. However, aside from that -- on a much more selfish note -- I'm just perplexed by the idea of preparing vegan meals.

I know, there's a whole contingent of people saying, "Raven? Cooking?!" Yeah, I cook. On occasion. Maybe not for you. But that doesn't mean that I don't or can't... just that I don't want to/am too lazy to. And I fear that I am much too lazy to purchase the proper ingredients to cook something that is vegan-friendly. I fear that I'd cook something non-vegan and when asked, say that it is vegan just to make it easier on myself, while completely disregarding the beliefs and feelings of someone for whom I care. Kind of makes me an asshole of a girlfriend, right?

After much ponderation, I came to the conclusion that one of the main things I like about Frosty, that I can really only say about the people that I just really enjoy being around, is that he is unabashedly himself -- even if he doesn't appear so at first glance. He looks real hip-hopperish, but acts kinda granola. And that's cool, cause he sticks to both, as contradictory as his positions may seem.

And I dig that. So, I'm ok with whatever he wants to eat.

Though, once he makes the transition from vegetarian to vegan, I'll probably offer to cook for him less.

Cause I'm still kinda lazy like that.