25 Random Things About Me

Cross-posted from Facebook:

1. With each passing year, I find myself becoming more and more sensitive to the sight of blood and guts (even, and perhaps especially, the fake variety). This is kind of weird to me because for a long time wanted to be a doctor and had no problem with animal dissections in biology or even those cadaver dissections that we did that one time…at science camp.

2. I make fun of Schmiddy for being a nerd and I like to pretend that I don’t understand what he’s talking about when he tries to explain to me how to do something with my computer. In reality, I do know what he’s basically talking about, but I’m lazy…so I play stupid so that he will do it for me.

3. I’ve already started planning my birthday party for this year. My birthday isn’t until April.

4. My biggest pet peeve is people who say that their biggest pet peeve is when other people use improper grammar. To me, it makes them sound like Baron Jakobi von Snootypants (He’s the imaginary royal that I just made up. He’s such a stickler for grammar that he never gets invited to parties or other awesome activities and thus spends Friday nights alone in his massive library searching through his thesaurus for an adequate synonym for the word “lonely” finally settling on “forlorn”). Nerd.

5. I feel uncomfortable when people approach me from behind, probably because I’m afraid of being attacked by ninjas (who of course only attack from behind).

6. I have a thing for gingers. My first childhood crush had red hair and freckles. Every time square dancing season would roll around in P.E. class, I’d always choose him as my partner. Occasionally, I still google his name.

7. Sometimes I like it when I don’t have any money. It’s a pretty good excuse for not wanting to buy something.

8. When a German asks me to tell them what a German word means in English and then I do and then they tell me, “No, that can’t be right.” It really hurts my feelings. It makes me want to hurt their body.

9. One time my dad tried to play a prank on me where he tricked me into eating a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. The joke was on him though, because that bad boy was delicious.

10. Sometimes I mix up the fictional movie characters of Tony Montana (Scarface) and Inigo Montoya (The Princess Bride). Then I imagine what both of the movies would be like if you did switch those characters. Probably awesome, I bet.

11. I have a gym membership. Sometimes I even go there. Not nearly enough though.

12. My college loans went into default and I’m currently rehabilitating them. I knew this was going to happen, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. However, I was surprised when the loan collection agency called me up at work in Germany. I think this is because I put down my work number on my absentee ballot application. This was the dark side of the ’08 Election.

13. If I start reading an article on Wikipedia, odds are I will spend the next 2 hours or more reading articles on Wikipedia. I cannot stop clicking those stupid links.

14. If Biancadonk tells me that a movie is really good/funny, then I’ll watch it without question because she’s always right. If my boyfriend tells me that a movie is really good/funny, then it’s either good or it’s funny - and most likely in German – but I’ll still watch it. If Schmiddy tells me that a movie is good, then it’s probably not funny and runs three hours long, possibly black/white and either full of nerd crap or based on some historical event. I’ll watch it until I get bored. If my Pickles tells me that a movie is good/funny, I avoid at all costs because it probably has zombies in it. If Buche tells me that a movie is good/funny, then that movie is probably Scary Movie 2.

15. A few years ago, Remy made me promise that I would do something spontaneous one day. I plan to.

16. When I think that no one is watching, I break out into dance. I do this a lot in elevators (where I’m the only one there) or in foyers while waiting for an elevator. If the elevator doors open to reveal a person already inside (or if I’m alone inside and they’re waiting to come in), I freeze. More than a few times, I’ve been mid-robot. It looks ridiculous, but I can’t help it. Lately, I’ve also been worried about possible security cameras in elevators. I’ve convinced myself that there must be hours of footage in various security stations with some of my best moves.

17. Though I’m not into the idea of marriage, much less taking my husband’s last name, I was thinking this weekend that if I were to marry my boyfriend and take his name – then my name would be Raven Wolff, which depending on your world view either sounds like a pretty bad-ass animal (in the manner of a liger or a bear-shark) or the pseudonym of an 14-year-old goth chick who writes angst-ridden livejournal poetry.

18. I learned how to read when I was 3 years old and because of this I was an arrogant little shit for the next 2 or 3 years. Luckily, I had two caring older sisters who were determined to not let my head get too big. Thanks to them, I know that lots of people can read and being able to do so doesn’t make you special. Thanks guys.

19. The sound of other people typing or chewing totally grosses me out.

20. If I had the start-up capital, I’d invest in a Taco Bell in Germany. People are quick to point out that Taco Bell isn’t “real” Mexican food, but it’s better than the crap that passes for Mexican food here. At least Taco Bell is cheap and tasty.

21. One of my favorite things about being in a relationship is that I don’t have to carry things when we’re together. I make a little protest before giving him whatever item he wants to hold, but I secretly love it. This is because I’m sofa king lazy.

22. The only surprises that I like are the ones that I’m expecting.

23. I can’t open my eyes underwater. For the most part, this doesn’t bother me, but every time I watch The Poseidon Adventure, I think of the part near the end where the characters have to swim a long way through a submerged corridor so that they can get rescued. I don’t think I could do that and it would probably be my downfall, if I had survived up until that point. This is why if I’m ever on a cruise ship I will have a pair of goggles on hand at all times. Just in case.

24. Sometimes people repeat things to me over and over, finally asking if I understand what they just said. Yes, I do. My face just looks this stupid naturally.

25. My president is black, but if I had a Lamborghini then I’d prefer that it were green and had an automatic transmission…because I can’t drive stick.