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Tuesday, April 09, 2013

from the past two weeks

Sorry, I had to take a break for a few days to figure out how to wrap up this series of posts. I'm not sure if you've been able to follow the underlying (overlying?) thread and I'm not quite sure how to connect this last part to the other parts. I mean, I thought I knew, but then, in the wee hours of Saturday morning, something incredibly bizarre happened that threw me for a huge loop.

I'm not even quite so sure that I've fully processed it myself, but I definitely want to get it out of my head before the sands of time erode it from my memory and, as I mentioned at the end of the last post, it's (at the very least) oh-so-slightly connected to some of the themes (friendship, attraction, Haddaway's Query, and just overall day-to-day hijinks in my life) in the other three posts.

As you can probably sense, I'm still stalling for time. I honestly don't know where to start.

Perhaps, with a joke. Stop me if you've heard this one:

Friend 1: Knock, knock...
Friend 2: Who's there?
Friend 1: Me and I think we should bang.
Friend 2: WTF? Where is this coming from?
Friend 1: Reasons and feelings.
Friend 2: This isn't a very good knock-knock joke. And I don't think this is a good idea.
Friend 1: Why not?
Friend 2: The aforementioned reasons and feelings.
Friend 1: Knock, knock. I still think we should bang.
Friend 2: Have you ever even heard a knock-knock joke before?
Friend 1: Knock, knock. Sex.
Friend 2: Hm...................ok...?
Friend 1: Sorry, I have the flu this week.
Friend 2: Get well soon
Friend 1: (a week later) Knock, knock...
Friend 2: Who's there?
Friend 1: Me again, silly!
Friend 2: And lemme
Friend 1: Bingo. Also, I think National Socialism is good.
Friend 2: Is this a joke?
Ex-Friend 1: No.
Friend 2: Um, this conversation is over.
Ex-Friend 1: Ok, but in case you change your mind, here's a creepy video clip, in which some neo-nazis talk about how great National Socialism and the Third Reich are (with no commentary or context from me).

This, of course, is a condensed/stylized version of correspondence over several weeks (the "punchline" occurred on Saturday). Now maybe you understand a little bit more clearly why I didn't know where to begin explaining this madness. So many parts of this story came clear out of the blue. It started out as a surprise and, admittedly, bizarre fuck buddy proposal (bizarre because of the manner in which it was suggested, not because of the concept itself). Then it was like, "Surprise! Nazism!" ...which was like something clear from outer space. That part took place over the phone and prompted a nervous laugh from me, in the hope that I had misheard a wildly offensive joke. But there was no laughter, no "JK!", and no desire on my part to point out all the manymanymany^infinity different ways that this was fucked up. To speak of dodged bullets doesn't even begin to describe the end result.

Initially, before this bombshell, I was going to write a little bit about friend-on-friend action. About how, under the right (no pun intended) circumstances, there can be lots of fun and laughs and making out and no drama. And how, under the wrong circumstances, it's the absolute worst idea ever with the potential to crush your soul with each passing day, week, month, and year. While I wouldn't have gone into the specific pro/con list for this particular situation, I would say that previously the "con" column looked A LOT different. I wouldn't even call it a "con" column now. It'd be more like, "Go to directly to 'Dealbreaker', do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200". Even that sounds like a trivialization.

Could it all just be an elaborate ruse? Like "Hahaha...psych! You totally fell for it when I said National Socialism was awesome!"

I guess that would be the "better" option, in the sense that it would "only" result in a long, serious conversation about the deeply disturbing and offensive "joke" that was made. How much contact we had after that would depend on the result of that long, serious conversation. I dunno, maybe that's just me.

Anyway, so, I can't really use this particular person (especially post-NS revelation) as a jumping off point about the question of friends navigating the waters around Morethanfriends Island (way less fun than Monkey Island btw), since we are now unequivocally less than friends.

So as it turns out, I don't think I've managed to come full circle with these last four posts. Fortunately, we should all be very used to that by now.
But if the last two weeks are any indication, even if I fail to make a point (or several) most of the time, it doesn't prevent batshit crazy things from happening to me. And who wouldn't want to stick around to see what happens next?

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