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Sunday, September 08, 2013

Craigslist Follies

Hamburg Craigslist is a woefully empty place. The traffic is much lower than, say, Berlin/Frankurt/Munich Craigslist, even though it's somewhat understandable since those cities have larger US expat communities. (FYI, you're much, much better off using eBay Kleinanzeigen if you're looking for something - regardless of the city - but I guess this tip won't help, if you don't understand German).

Still, on occasion, I check CL precisely because of the lower traffic -- less competition for people giving away free stuff for my apartment that I might want.

And, of course, if you're wasting time on Craigslist, you might as well take a gander at the personal ads sections. Missed connections, "lookin' for hookups" ads, etc. It's all comedy gold...until it's a comedy nightmare.

I managed to stumble across an ad from July 30th with the header "GERMAN MAN FOR GERMAN WOMAN" (just like that in all caps). The first thing that struck me was that this ad was written in English. For... reasons? I dunno, maybe it's a well-established fact that the key to a German woman's heart is a foreign language that she may or may not have fully mastered.

It's pretty crazy though. Dude managed to create an ad that is contradictory to the core, declaring that he:

  1. is a highly sexual virgin.
  2. is a scientist that believes in paranormal crimes and...warlocks...?
  3. is not religious, but serves "The Creator"...and is also Jewish...and hates heathens.
  4. does not drink "a Strong Drink", but is also a home brewer that drinks beer.
  5. is apparently down with some antiziganist bullshit, but can't be bothered to spell "gypsy" correctly.
  6. cannot spell, in general.
  7. wants to be an orchard farmer.
Talk about mixed messages. I want to believe that this is some straight up internet trolling shit, but it's also Craigslist.

Full ad after the jump.

(Click to enlarge, original ad here)

Sounds like a keeper. Sadly, I did not find the home decor that I was initially looking for.

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