If it's not Raven, it's crap...

Yeah, yeah, I'm quite aware it's Thursday and not Tuesday, but -- meh -- close enough. You know the #1 thing that has bothered me today? No, Raven, what's that? Well, every time I go to check my email, there's like this picture of Angelina Jolie in the "news" section with a caption about how apparently someone like tried to kidnap one of her kids. I don't know which one or why or even exactly what happened...and really, I don't care. The thing I wanna know is why doesn't Angelina Jolie adopt me? Not that I want her to be my mom real bad or anything, but I think it could be quite a convenient solution to many of my momentary problems. Mostly because she's rich and all. Anyway, I don't get it so much. I'm brown and I've been told that I can be quite cute and often cuddly... ? Ok, that last one is kind of a lie. I'm not really cuddly. I was just thinking that it's kind of a sad state of affairs when you find yourself semi-serio...

Diesen Eintrag schreibe ich nach folgendem Motto: "Wenn du dir wieder mal zu Hause deinen Schädel zerbrichst, und die Läden sind dicht, und du dich fragst, ob die ganze Welt denn gegen dich ist, dann nehmen wir den Stift und liefern Medizin, die es in Apotheken nicht gibt..." - Blumentopf "Medizin" Sometimes it freaks me out how often and for how long I get can caught up in my thoughts. Like just now, I realized that it's just like 8pm and about 2 hours have passed between now and the last thing I remember. This problem may have also been caused by all the coffee that I've consumed today (a lot). Anyway, I was jolted out of my deep thought by the doorbell. I thought my roommate would have answered because I had heard her come in, but after about a minute of waiting and a second ring, I got up to find out for myself who the hell was at the door. ( Click Below for More ) Turns out, the door to the apartment was wide open and this dude with a creepy smile was s...

Will return after the panic attacks stop. In the meantime, enjoy some homemade versions of the MacGyver theme song and pray for my soul.

Yes, I am aware that it is Wednesday and not Tuesday, but I got quite distracted yesterday evening and unable to pull myself back into reality, I decided to just watch a bunch of episodes of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job , which pretty much rendered me useless for anything else. But enough about me, here's some of the music getting me through the week and maybe I'll be back later with some more words and such.

c moor lolcats at i can has cheezburger? You ever get the feeling that I'm just not subtle enough? Like to today I had the funny feeling that I should...I dunno...invite some friends over to my living room and eat a bunch of delicious fuckin' tacos and guacamole and drink beer and perhaps watch a movie on my big screen wall? Maybe this movie could be Rambo III . Maybe this evening could be something like March 31st. Although I also get the feeling that I'm not necessarily committed to that particular film or day. Anyone else get this feeling too? Who knows, together we can maybe do something about it... Lemme know in the comments.

As far as weeks go, this last one wasn't that great. After I realized that it was my mom's birthday at the beginning of the week, I sort of just half-assedly plodded my way through the rest of the days in kind of a general malaise. I was gonna write some kind of post for her, but somehow the thought of doing that just made me feel a lot worse. However, Schmidt cooked me some Spaghetti Carbonara and we watched First Blood together, which made me feel a little better. On the other hand, I'd like to apologize to the other people I flaked out on this weekend. Namely Toby and Trini Mutti ... especially Toby because this is like the 3rd time I've done this, making my actions completely unacceptable. I will have to do something big to make it up to him, like cook him dinner (don't laugh...I'm totally serious here). Other "notable" things to happen this week: * My döner guy asked me out on a date. About two months ago (give or take) he finally mustered up ...

In honor of St. Paddy's Day and perhaps the greatest video in the history of the internets , here's the "Leprechaun Remix", it's an oldie, but a goodie. If that's not enough for you, then Mental_Floss has a little worksheet you can do -- perfect for those of you who have a hard time distinguishing the difference between "history’s two most legendary snake annihilators": St. Patrick and Samuel L. Jackson. And don't forget to wear green today, because after a few beers I get very pinchy...

About a month ago, Schmidt told me that he stopped reading my blog because "Work is too hard" blah blah blah.... So, I was gonna make a post where I put pictures of his face in embarrassing situations. Well, it turns out he started reading my blog again, which totally ruined my plan -- just around the time where I was ready to get into some photo manipulation crap. Damn you, Schmidt !!! In a rather lucky turn of events, Cupcake made a post about her "pet" rubber band ball, Robbie and a new game called Where's Robbie Now? It's way fun... So far, I've done: Robbie at Oktoberfest Robbie taking a leak and Robbie the Pimp And here's a survey from MissFee to round out the day: ( Click Below for More ) 1. Something you hate about modern civilization: Not a goddamned thing really, 'cause for reals...modern civilization brought us like toilets inside of our houses and stuff...and I'm sorry, the world is pretty fucked up right now...but I totall...

I'm kinda diggin this whole Project Playlist thing. If I remember to, I'll maybe try to start putting up a new set of songs here every Tuesday. Nothing terribly new to see/hear...just basically stuff I've been listening to while I've been working today. [EDIT: New week, new list -- see latest Tuesday Playlist post]

Four little words that every woman dreams of hearing one fine day. I know I do. This weekend I: * took a picture (see above) * met a guy who speaks six languages -- three of which can be considered native languages -- making me feel highly insecure about the two measely languages that I mangle on a daily basis. * partied like a rockstar. Minus the hookers and drugs...and the 5-star hotel room trashing. * attempted to call my little brother, left 3 drunken messages on his voice mail, each one progressively angrier than the last. * received the following message back from the aforementioned little brother, explaining why he missed my calls: My bad about the other night. I was bummed I missed your calls. I was at a strip club and had to leave my phone in the car because it has a camera. I promise it won't happen again. * discovered that there are roughly 300 döner shops in Hamburg -- it would be an investment of at least 960€ if I tried to visit them all and would take about roughly ...

In Oklahoma there's this saying. Actually, it's probably not just in Oklahoma...but a thought popped into my head this evening (or last night, cause it's about 3am right now) and the response (also in my head) that immediately followed was one that I heard often while growing up, mostly from adults trying to be funny... I thought to myself, "This is so not fair." And then, "Of course it isn't. The fair only comes once a year...and it ain't September yet." I can think of at least ten matters right now that are a bit more pressing than being mentally preoccupied with a great guy I recently met and the fact that the timing of this occurence just pretty much blows. Which in turn, sucks. If I were to sum up my feelings about it in the form of a smiley, I think I'd go with :-P (which is like "Oh, poop -- this isn't fair" and then you have to stick out your tongue and make that poop sound to emphasize the point) Anyway, I guess I...

I've kinda been following this story since I read about it over at Poplicks.com . To summarize (in case you hadn't heard about it), basically there's this Asian-American sci-fi writer who wrote an article in a weekly newspaper called Asian Week entitled "Why I Hate Blacks". He also hates white people, as well as other asians...and he's the self-proclaimed God of the Universe. Oh, and I think he's got some weird dragon fetish. Anyway, he apparently also did an interview on Fox News. It is mindblowing... So sit back and enjoy the crazy:

I don't mean to put you on blast Remy ...but this mail pretty much just made my day and I feel I must share: ...I'm gonna try to make it out there for your bday. Hit me up and we'll see if we can work out the details. Hey and if you can talk to Tunde for me that would be great, he's talking about getting hitched. I told him that he's not ready to have his cock locked in box. F.Y.I., it's not the same as your dick in a box. Don't get me wrong, bitches love it. And when I say they love "it"...I mean my dick in a box, which is dirty on so many different levels. Oh, and one last thing. Try and get me the hook up with Camilla, you know, Bianca's sister. I seen her myspace and she's looking mighty sexy. Just tell her I got her a gift, but don't tell her it's my dick in a box! Anywho get at pimpin, I been missing you. I miss you too, bro...

The video seen above is the first result on YouTube that I got when I typed in the keyword "insaneo". Whoever uploaded it (and I'm taking a wild guess it was the kids who made it) decribe the video as "amazing, awesomeness to the max". I could go on about how that's also a dead on description of Buche (aka Cptn Insaneo ). He's just the kind of guy that makes you wanna do things in reverse. Anyway, as much as I'd like to tell a few embarrassing anecdotes or put up some funny pictures, I won't ('cause I'm trying to save all that stuff in case I need to blackmail him later...he is my archnemesis afterall) However, today I'd like to extend my hand in peace and wish him a very merry birthday. Make a wish, bitch ;-)

After seeing the trailer for The Illusionators way back when, I was pretty excited for more. It's basically right up my alley in terms of what I think is funny...so I was psyched to find the following clip on YouTube: but for some reason, after watching the video it kind of warped my view of the music video for Lyrics Born and Lateef's song "Last Trumpet" Two great tastes...on completely opposite ends of the spectrum.

Caught you red-handed, MissFee Following an idea put in my head by JenMyFriend , I've been kinda keeping track of my blog stats via Google Analytics since the beginning of February. Not because I care about ad revenue or anything (seeing as how I have no ads -- or at least I shouldn't), mostly because I like stalking my friends in my spare time. And not even really in my spare time...more like when I can't think of anything else to do...I just google my friends' names. My life is very very sad and uninteresting. The photo above, for instance, shows me the geographical location of everyone who has visited my blog from February 27 through yesterday. As you can see, about 15% of my total visits are from New York City...more specifically from Walker Publishing. I seent cha MissFee is my biggest fan. If my heart were a baked potato, she would be the microwave that makes it warm and soft in a reasonable and convenient amount of time. I think that's a song lyric just wai...

Here’s another patented ridiculously long introduction that has very little to do with the actual point of this entry: Six long years ago, the very first time that I came to Hamburg – like seriously within the first few weeks or so that I was here – I was walking to the central station with Karyn and Sheya . It was part-"lovely stroll", part- "we’re kinda lost". We were having a good time and chatting it up in English, when a group of young guys walked by and asked (also in English), "Hey do you know what time it is?" Karyn and I kept walking, saying nothing. Sheya answered, "7:30pm" ( Click Below for More ) "7:30? Time for fucking!" was the reply she received. It was funny, because she basically just walked right into that one and from that day on, 7:30 was known as "time for fucking" and quite often we would use it as a reference point for other times...e.g. "two hours until it’s time for fucking" meant that it ...

What is it about weekends that I never get any-damn-thing accomplished? All that shit that I put off until the weekend, and then what do I end up doing? That's right...I watch the entire second season of Entourage , even though I could pretty much guess what happened since I've already seen seasons 1 and 3. At any rate, it's been rainy as fuck in Hamburg lately, which basically kills any and all motivation to leave my apartment that I may have had. I was gonna write an insightful and witty blog post, but it involved way more photo manipulation than I felt like doing. So, Entourage Season 2 won and now you're gonna get this tale of woe from the workplace: ( Click Below for More ) The new issue of FHHM hits stands this Thursday and that means the work for the April issue is starting to pile up like a muthafucka... Pretty much the schedule around here goes: 3 weeks of work, work, work (especially in the week where the magazine goes to the printers) and then a week of l...

There's this German magazine called Blond that I've occasionally been known to flip through. It's mostly kind of hit or miss with me in terms of their monthly theme. However, one thing in it that I always like to read is a very short column called "Jake's 12" by Jake the Rapper (who's also a DJ...and an American...and very nice, from what SupaD has told me). I found his column this month to be particularly funny and I'd like to share (though I feel that's also slightly less than legal). I also apologzie in advance to those of you reading this, who can't read German. Normally, I'd translate, but I have the feeling that it wouldn't help you really understand it anyway. But I'll make it up to you, I pinky swear... ( Click Below for More ) Hm, unfortunately, the scanner isn't working, so I'm just gonna retype it. It ain't that long. Jakes 12! Produktnamen Bei diesen Markennamen frage ich mich, was sie mir wohl sagen wolle...