#5

"They should've never given y'all niggas money!"
(Oh, just save yourself now)

While grocery shopping today, I hit the magazine aisle to see if the new issue of Scratch Magazine with the tribute to late producer J. Dilla had hit the racks as yet. Unfortunately, it had not. However, much to my satisfaction, I found out that this particular overpriced, yuppie grocery store carries one of my very favoritest mags ever: Wizard (Guide to Comics).

I stopped paying attention to what was going on in the comic book industry around the time that Katie broke up with Josh, but even as I began replacing a comic book addiction with my music addiction, I still purchased Wizard on the regular until about 2001 -- the biggest problem being that a lot of stores that sell magazines don't sell Wizard...so it became a kind of "out of sight, out of mind" kinda thing. Needless to say, I was pretty stoked about my new discovery (in a nostalgic kind of way).

So I'm lying in bed this afternoon, nursing my "Hooray! It's Wednesday and I don't have to go to work"-Hangover and I'm reading about how Sticky Fingaz from Onyx is going to play Blade on TV.

Now, Blade and I have had a very turbulent relationship since the movies have come out. I saw the first movie on a date...a very bad and awkward one at that. Then, when Blade II came out, I also saw that film while on a different date, albeit a much more fun date...that didn't blow up in my face until well after the fact. So, when I heard about Blade III, I was like, "Woohoo! I'll be going on a date soon..." Alas, I realized one shouldn't plan one's social calendar around the release of Wesley Snipes movies.

That was the first thing I thought of when I read about this new TV series. The second, and more important, thing I thought about was a topic that has been on my mind quite a lot, as of late: the plight of the undead...or, better said, the half-undead(?). I'm talkin' bout half-vampires, yo.

To be honest, I probably spend more time than is normal (or healthy) pondering about the undead, seeing as how the Great Zombie Debate is still somewhat of a touchy subject in my family. I fear I may be opening up an entirely different can of worms, but when faced with the choice of joining the ranks of the half-undead and something really really unpleasant...I think I'd have to go with the half-vampires (or "halb-wampires" auf Deutsch)

Think about it. No, seriously.

You can't really be half-zombie, because eventually...you'll be ALL zombie. It's inevitable. And don't get me started on werewolves...it's like, c'mon guys, make up your mind already.

But I can kinda see the whole thing behind half-vampires. They've got a lot in common with the Mulatto Struggle. I'm not just talking about imperviousness to sunlight, here. Oh yeah, there's much, much more. Ermm...like how mulattos struggle against a raging bloodlust...and how half-vampires have "good hair"...so many similarities, I tell you.

In an out and out fight to the death, I'd still have to give it to the mulattos.

That is, of course, unless the mulattos were up against mulatto half-vampires. Good God, we wouldn't stand a chance...

and this is why I try to stay away from tequila after work.