By special request, I'm bringing back an old feature called "Meet the Brookses", in which I "interview" my siblings and publish their answers. I interviewed my younger brother Remy in Part One and my younger sister (his twin), Cristal, in Part Two.
Robbyn, aka Pickles, was feeling left out and could no longer suffer in silence, so she asked me to revive the feature and ask her some questions too.
Robbyn is four years older than me and throughout my life we've had what most people probably think of as a "typical" big sister/little sister relationship. Definitely not the same kind of relationship that I have with Cris -- or with my other older sister Gillian. No, for much of my formative years, I tried my damndest to do everything that Robbyn did. I was the typical annoying little tagalong, copycat sister. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?), Robbyn was never the kind of girl that was into chasing boys, wearing make-up, the latest fashion, etc. She was a band nerd who was (and still is) into sci-fi and guns. Which is basically why to this day I know much more about Start Trek and direct-to-video B-action movies than I do about...well...anything else...except maybe rap, because that came later for me (much much later and the damage was already done).
Remember when I told you about my trip to the video store the other day? Well, I noticed that there's apparently there's a remake of the Charlton Heston movie The Omega Man, starring Mark Decascos. And I wondered if Robbyn knew about it. Who's Mark Decascos, you ask? Doesn't matter really... my point is that Robbyn knows who he is...and she probably got the DVD in the Director's Cut version on the day it came out.
Anyway, I'm not gonna get all sentimental and shit here -- but my sis has had a very significant influence on my life and I consider that a good thing. I'm still in awe of her and want to be just like her when I grow up. Minus the guns and knives because someone could lose an eye that way.
Hey Pickles, repeat after me: I am sofa king we Todd Ed ...
haha...very funny...bitch.
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Note: my original questions are in bold, the additional things I wrote later are bold & italicized
Thanks for coming out today, Robbyn...
My pleasure.
What color are your eyes today?
My contacts are gray & they make my brown eyes a grayish blue. It adds to my exotic look & mystique.
Have you ever thought about getting zombie contact lenses or are you afraid of the consequences that it might pose?
I’m thinking of getting some for Halloween this year. Maybe not “zombie” contacts per se, but the ones that are all white except for the black pupils in the middle.
Do you realize that if you got zombie contact lenses and if I got zombie contact lenses, it would kind of be like we're zombies together, which is the only thing I've ever wanted?
First, I know you’ll never wear contacts. Second, I’ll give you the same special consideration I’m giving Remy: if you get bit, I won’t shoot you in the head right away. As long as you prove yourself to be useful warding off other zombies or being an early warning system once you’ve turned, I won’t shoot you. As soon as you start looking at me like I’m a big, juicy steak you’re dead.
Just kidding, I'd never wear contact lenses. You should know this by now. Also zombies are tearing our family apart.
Remy started up The Great Zombie Debate the other night. We were watching Dawn of the Dead & the following question came up, “Where would you relocate if zombies were overrunning the world? 1. An uncharted tropical island in the middle of the ocean. 2. The frozen tundra up north. Anyway, zombies aren’t tearing our family apart . . . yet, & you’ll always have me to shoot you in the head.
Note: I don’t where I’d move to, as both options seem pretty crappy to me. Uncharted islands can be full of poisonous things and/or weird shit (e.g. like on “Lost”). And the tundra is all cold and shit – and frostbite is totally gross. I guess it comes down to a few questions: 1.) Are animals like birds or fish impervious to the zombie virus or can they also infect humans? 2.) Can the zombies swim? 3.) How does the cold affect the zombies? I would go to the place that gives me the better chances of not getting infected. But I suppose it depends on what kind of zombie outbreak we’re talking about.
You're known in the family as the "not-funny" one, but I think there's a hidden comedian inside of you. In fact, probably two… inside of your boobies, which for the record are quite large. Can you get them to come up with a joke (or two)?
Sorry, but I can’t right now. Romulus & Remus are sleeping & they’ve been a bit uncooperative lately.
As a matter of fact, Gillian's not that funny either and she also has huge chesticles. Do you think this might be a pattern? Big boobs = not funny?
It’s possible. Not only do we have big breastesess, we’re also the whitest when it comes to our family’s hip factor. We all know white people aren’t funny, their hilarity comes from their s*******y. Was that too racist? F@*! You if you can’t take a joke.
My whiteness has been completely offended by your statement. When Robbyn gets a little bit tan, she get a lot a bit militant
Something that everyone's dying (haha) to know: exactly how many weapons do you have in your collection?
Currently 4 (not counting the .357 revolver Cris stole or the guns at Aunty M’s I haven’t retrieved & divvied up w/ Rem); two 12 gauge, pump action shotguns, a broad sword & a Klingon dagger. Also an armoire full of pocket knives of all shapes & sizes.
Which one is your favorite?
It’s a toss up between the shotgun & the sword. The sword is a replacement I recently purchased after my 5’ barbarian sword was stolen from the house. It’s a foot smaller & not as imposing, but it’ll still be useful when zombies attack.
What's on your weaponry wish list?
I’m looking to buy a Glock 18, 19, 21, or 22 in the near future. I would also like an AR-15 & an M24 sniper rifle. It wouldn’t hurt to get another 5’ barbarian sword.
Do you still like sharks? What made you like them in the first place?
I’ll always like sharks . . . .always. I think the movie Jaws played a key role. I loved getting shark books from the library & looking at the photos of shark bite victims.
Are you watching something on the Sci-fi Channel right now? If yes, then what?
Man, the sci-fi channel sucks donkey balls. I have Starz, HBO, & Showtime. Anyway, I’m at work so I’m not watching TV. . . . . or working apparently.
What's your favorite phrase in Klingon?
NuqDaq’ oh’ puchpa’ ‘e’? Translation: Where’s the bathroom?
Who's the better Highlander: Connor MacLeod or Duncan MacLeod? There can be only one, ya know.
Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod . . . DUH!
Why do you love that nerd shit?
What nerd shit do you speak of?
What kind of music have you been listening to as of late?
System of a Down, Fall Out Boy, Rage Against the Machine, My Chemical Romance, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan. . . . . .just check out my project playlists; robbynbrooks357
What's your favorite memory of us hanging out together?
There’re so many. . . . hhhmmmm. I keep going back to your high school graduation party. I don’t remember a lot from that night, but it was the first time we got totally wasted together. Good times, good times.
That wasn’t my high school graduation, but rather senior year homecoming – still it was pretty fun. Until the vomiting began.
What's the stupidest thing I've ever said?
There’re so many. . (haha). . . .hhhmmmm. It would have to be, “Was that a bear?” You fill in the story if you wish.
Robbyn and I were road tripping down to Houston. On the highway was a large, hairy (dead) animal – ok, maybe not bear-large…but pretty big. When we drove by, I saw it and wondered aloud, “Was that a bear?”, because it could have totally been like a baby bear. Or something. I swear.
On a scale of 1-10 how much do you miss "cuddle time"?
10. I miss you : (
Do you sometimes sing the "cuddle time" song when you're alone, while weeping softly to yourself and missing me terribly?
I don’t miss you that much. However, more than “cuddle time” I miss your “shake your booty dance time”
I think you should have gotten a picture of some guns tattooed on your chest and above it should have said "How you like these guns?" I know that's not a question, but it's how I feel. Why didn't you do that?
I have enough people looking at my chest. My boobies are big enough as it is, so I don’t need to advertise them or do the equivalent of defacing them.
When are you coming to visit?
I’m all outta paid time off this year, but I plan to visit you before going back to T&T. Next year?
Coo. I can dig it. Thanks for the interview. I wub woo Wobbym...
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